Top 9 Austin Weirdnesses

1) CAROLE SPRINGS ETERNAL Grandma Keeton Strayhorn, Austin's political Energizer bunny, just keeps on running.

2) TEXAS TEA-TIME Rick Perry panders to loonies and ponders secession.

3) ALLRED AND ALL RIGHT Exiled Sammy returns to radio as a "Big Talker" – with Glenn Beck!

4) MUD MUSIC Austin City Limits Festival + major downpour = stinking sea of sludge.

5) JOSIAH FOR MAYOR With Jennifer Gale gone, Ingalls picks up the torch.

6) MACK 'MO' MONEY' BROWN Country, state, and university in fiscal crisis – but not the football coach!

7) CRENSHAW VS. KITE Ben and Tom, two golf icons, take opposite sides of "Save Muny" fight.

8) TWO HALF-WIT MEN Charlie Sheen and Alex Jones form a New World Order of Lunatics.

9) TOP 9S The Chronicle can't count to 10!