TCB

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STICK A FORK IN 'EM

It's probably safe to say that, unlike Austin's Voxtrot and Spoon, Sound Team won't be invited to play the Pitchfork Music Festival anytime soon. Last month, the influential indie-rock Web site awarded the local sextet's Capitol debut, Movie Monster, a middling rating of 3.7 out of 10, although the reviewer seemed much more interested in the forthcoming movie Snakes on a Plane than the album itself. The band responded with a short film on YouTube.com wherein a doll labeled "Sound Team" is repeatedly stabbed with a pitchfork, tossed off a cliff, and set on fire (though, oddly enough, not snakebitten). Juicy feuds like this don't come along every day, so TCB broke out the good ol' crystal ball.

SATURDAY: Sound Team covers Ray Wylie Hubbard's Snake Farm and the collected works of Whitesnake while circling Chicago's Union Park, site of this year's Pitchfork festival, on a flatbed truck.

MONDAY: Pitchfork gives Sound Team's mobile performance a 2.4. "Worse than watching Snakes on a Plane with my eyelids glued open," writes the reviewer.

AUG. 18: Sound Team plays a miniset of "Snakes Crawl at Night," "Long Snake Moan," and "Fattening Frogs for Snakes" at the Alamo Drafthouse's Snakes on a Plane premiere party.

AUG. 20: In an exclusive Misprint interview, Sound Team announces they have uploaded a virus that diverts all Pitchfork traffic to the Snakes on a Plane home page.

SUMMER 2007: Pitchfork gives Sound Team's Snakes on a Plane 2 soundtrack a 5.4, lauding Samuel L. Jackson's profanity-laced spoken-word interludes.

EARLY 2008: After Sound Team tours with Radiohead and Wolf Parade, Pitchfork awards Movie Monster's follow-up, Just Plain Snakes, a perfect 10.