My mom, like a lot of moms, always told us kids that the best gifts were homemade and from the heart. Yeah, mom, like I'd really prefer a bad-color-scheme set of love beads over that $80 red velvet dress from the Gap....
Mom might not have been right, and though I maintain that her choice for least thoughtful gift (cash) is actually quite thoughtful, I still make most of my Christmas gifts.
My friends have no idea, but I'm sure they would be relieved at what I give these days, if only they knew what my standard homemade gift used to be: a macramé neck choker with three beads. Wax string and plastic beads if you were a cousin. Soft thread and tres chic wooden beads if you were a crush or, at the very least, deigned lifelong best friend based on notes passed to and fro in algebra class, 1978.
And what do I give these days? Well, mostly cheesecakes. Food is always a good option. They can eat it or throw it away. They don't have to pretend to like it. They don't have to realize the "silk French" underpants actually came from K-Mart and that Dillard's box you used was a sham.
But if you're a crappy cook -- and many of us are -- try the Homemade Refrigerator Magnet. Pay attention: This is going to be a quick lesson.
Here's what you need:
* Sheets of laminating paper
-- (Office Depot, $10 or less)
* Something to laminate
-- photographs, pictures of cheesy lawyers from the back of the phone book, whatever...
* Scissors
* A roll of self-adhesive magnetic strip
-- (Twin Oaks Hardware, down the holler from Terra Toys at S. Congress & Mary)
Peel off the backing of a sheet of laminate. Carefully place your pictures face down. Now, breathe deep. Deeper. Peel off the back of another laminate and place it over the first without wrinkling. (Do a test run before you start.) Cut carefully around the image, stick a quarter or half inch of adhesive magnet on and voila! Refrigerator magnets!
Warning: Your friends will no doubt consider you a cheapskate for such a gift; so be as clever as you can. Use real personal pictures, add slogans, juxtapose embarrassing items in embarrassing places. Be creative. And if your picture or photo is flimsy, add a layer of thin cardboard (like from a cereal box) before applying the top laminate.
If this sounds too complicated and you are no good at, say, soap sculptures, there are local pros who offer gifts either they handmake or help you handmake. If you're one of those real uptight types, you can buy one of these items and take all of the credit for yourself.
Sgraffito offers state-of-the-art versions of those plastic plates you made as a kid. Remember, you drew a picture on a paper circle, mailed it away, and it came back a plastic plate that could withstand nuclear war? Nowadays, Yvonne will assist your child in creating a real plate, with real glaze. Kids get a kick. Big people are also allowed to make plates. You can actually get in and out for just under $20.
Deborah Mayers is a bit too swamped to take custom orders. But check out her handiwork at Sweetish Hill. You can buy a handmade coffee mug or a cool bowl that the Hill fills with different dips and spreads. Buy the latter, take it to a party, pretend you made the dip and the bowl, and at the end of the night, when the hostess tries to "return" the bowl, say, "Oh, baby, that's for you." Classy. Real classy.
We used to be able to identify Four Corners Tiles as that building on Fifth with the cool Sunflower mosaic on the side, before some jerk stole the mural. Elena can either design custom tiles or help you and your kids do handprint tiles. Call first to make an appointment.
One final do-it-yourself note: The handier among us -- or among you, I
haven't picked up a hammer in years -- can head over to Habitat for Humanity's
RE-Store (get it? restore?)and check out the incredible selection of building
supplies. Personally, I recommend, since you're in the neighborhood, filling up
on some Cisco's migas first. Then figure out what would go with what to make a
good gift. For example, maybe that window frame could be converted to a picture
frame. Or that old door would make a swell table top. Sorry, no detailed
instructions here. Maybe you should check out Suzy Banks' "Hearth and Soul" in
the back of the paper and e-mail her for pointers.
TWIN OAKS HARDWARE, 1902 S. Congress, 442-5050
SGRAFFITO, 809 West 12th, 708-9000
SWEETISH HILL, 922 Congress, 477-2441
FOUR CORNERS, 1215 W. Fifth, 320-0705
HABITAT RE-STORE, 310 Comal, 478-2165 n
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