Critic's Poll: Architecture & Lodging

Lakehills Theatre @ Hwy71 & Lamar
One day, making tracks
In the prairie of Austax
Came North-South Going Traffax
And East-West Going Traffax.

East-West Going Traffax puffed its chest with pride.
"We never," it said, "take a step to one side."
"Well, we live by a rule," yelled the
North-South Going Traffax
"that we learned back in North-South Going School.
Never budge! That's our rule.
Never budge in the least!
Not an inch to the west!
Not an inch to the east!
We'll stay here, not budging! We can and we will
If it makes us and all of Austax stand still!"

Well... Of course Austax didn't stand still. Austax grew.
In a couple of years, the new highway came through
And they built it right over that Lakehills Cineplex
And left the Traffax standing, un-budged in their tracks.
2428 Ben White, 416-5700

Best Place to Realize We Live in a Big City

Junction of 71/290, Loop 1, & 360 For all the talk of untrammeled growth, downtown Austin still has something of a small-city feel. For a taste of big city life, take a drive down to this ramp-happy junction. We're talkin' serious urban infrastructure here. Our advice? Forget the worries about urban sprawl, traffic congestion, and the long-term effects of runaway car culture — and enjoy the ride from a couple hundred feet in the air.Junction of 71/290, Loop 1, & 360

Best Place to Realize We Live in a Big City Junction of 71/290, Loop 1, & 360 photograph by Bruce Dye

Best Neighborhood Guardian

Best Neighborhood Guardian The Skagen-Brakhage Genie photograph by Bruce Dye

The Skagen-Brakhage Genie Every Austin neighborhood enjoys the protection of the city's men who wear blue, but only one is under the watchful eye of a man who is blue. This year, the Bouldin Creek neighborhood got its own super-size supernatural security guard, an azure-skinned genie — Shazzan, if we remember our Sixties Saturday morning cartoons right — perched atop the studio of "them crafty hobos" Rory Skagen and Billy Brakhage. The Skagen-Brakhage team has gifted our town with lots of witty, whimsical art — the "Blue Ribbon" mural at W. Fifth & Colorado, the cowpoke and flying steer at GSD&M's Idea City, the Austin postcard mural opposite their studio at South First & W. Annie — but Shazzan is special, a benevolent sentinel whose broad smile and strong outstretched arms promise safety and reassurance.1800 S. First, 443-7045

Best Estate Purchased at a Garage-Sale

Southwind Confirmed garage sale shopper Paisley Robertson never dreamed she'd become the owner of one of the city's most historically fascinating residences when she stopped at the estate sale, but the elderly sisters who owned the south-central Austin property known as Southwind recognized a kindred spirit and sold her the converted barn with a storied past. The original barn was constructed in the 1870s by a retired Civil War surgeon and inventor, Dr. G. P. Hachenberg, who submitted an alternate patent for the telephone and fought A. G. Bell in court over the credit for it until his death. During the Forties, muralist and UT art instructor Seymour Fogel (a protégé of Diego Rivera) converted the barn into a family residence and an art studio, inspired by the wonderful ambient light. As the current steward of Southwind, Paisley Robertson ponders the encroachment of a nearby housing development and enjoys the southern breezes for which her home is named.2411 Kinney

Best Act of Senseless Beauty

Hyde Park Bar & Grill Fork Master Kinetic artist Richard Heinechen made the ever-changing fork in the road, and Hyde Park B&G owner Bick Brown has various new art pieces added to the top regularly. This summer, it featured a tropical Mr. Potato Head. Who can guess what the autumn will bring?4206 Duval, 458-3168

Best Highway Development Project

The Texas State Cemetery The restoration of the final resting place of Confederate soldiers and distinguished Texans was completed in February of this year for $4.7 million. Where'd the money come from? Ever hear of the Intermodal Surface Transportation Act? It provides funding for development along state highways. State highway? What state highway? It's State Road Spur165, the shortest highway in Texas at a mere eight-tenths of a mile, which runs its cobblestoned length through the middle of the cemetery.Navasota & E. 11th, Open daily 9am-5pm, 478-0098

Best Architectural Orgasm

LBJ Fountain Whew! We are so pleased that somebody finally fixed the LBJ fountain! The tension was killing us. For a while there, we thought we'd never again witness the 120,000 gallons of water pumped at a rate of 75-80 psi. Now, an entire new generation of temporary Austinites (UT kids) may enjoy the frothy majesty of our city's only water-based tribute to our nation's 36th President.

LBJ Library, 2315 Red River, 471-4962

Best Bathroom Gallery

Mojo's At Mojo's, they've solved the problem of kids hopped up on caffeine filling the bathroom walls with impish graffiti. Artist Nicole Labry has transformed both the cafe's bathrooms into full-on installation pieces, and suddenly we have a lot less desire to bring reading material in because there's just so much to look at. Both installations employ an intriguing juxtaposition of spliced-up magazine photos of models, found objects, and the occasional shard of text.2714 Guadalupe, 478-5285

Best Down-Homey Hosts

Kevin & Renee Buck Live Oak Inn owners Kevin and Renee Buck (and their Simpsons look-alike dog Molly Brown) live in a veritable old mansion but exude a hospitality that's downright homey. Opened last September, Live Oak Inn, with six rooms, has already seen more than 1,000 guests. Internet advertising has brought them guests from as far away as Tokyo, and recently a British film crew doing a documentary for BBC on human sexuality were guests. Hell, with guests like that, you've got to wonder precisely what it is the Bucks bring to the table to interest and charm their guests, but our sources tell us they have that role down pat.211 W. Live Oak, 447-8873

Best Downtown Sunset View

Downtown Station Post Office Downtown truly shines around sunset from this vantage point. An incredible glow reflects off the re-done Bank One building when standing outside the post office's upper ramp. On Fridays when we take the office mail for the weekend, we can't help but stop and savor this amazing display.510 Guadalupe, 494-2200

Best Entrance

Speakeasy Not since Ray Liotta whisked Lorraine Bracco through a nightclub in one fell shot has there been such a thrilling bar entrance. Impossibly tucked behind Fourth & Congress, Speakeasy is a drinker's lush fantasy in the midst of the greyish, derelict downtown alley. While the distant martini clinks may be a siren song for some, it is this bar's entrance — replete with shiny brass knobs, sharp-dressed doormen, and carpet crushing under your stilettos — that begs for a glimpse inside.412 Congress, 476-8017

Best Grasshopper

National Wildflower Research Center Neither we nor our bush beans are great fans of plague-type insects, but the giant wooden grasshopper at the Wildflower Center is a gentleman among pests. See this harmless hopper and more big bugs (ants, dragonfly, praying mantis) created by sculptor David Rogers through November 30, 1997.4801 La Crosse, 292-4100

Best Replacement for the Terminix Bug

Robert's Pest Control Cockroach Ever since the giant rotating cockroach at 12th & Lamar crawled off to North Austin to make room for yet another center city coffeehouse, the cityscape has seemed somehow empty. Robert's Pest Control on S. Lamar has come to the rescue, installing a huge neon cockroach that is almost as beguiling as its predecessor. Crafted by Evan Voyles of Neon Jungle and John from Heyward Neon and stuck firmly on a 15' pole, this happy critter with the elegant tentacles and scurrying legs is a roach that is fast on its way to nowhere. Let's hope it stays that way.1800 S. Lamar, 444-0132

Best Replacement for the Terminix Bug Robert's Pest Control Cockroach photograph by Bruce Dye

Best House to Dream On

The Littlefield Home Have you seen this house recently? Damn. The neighborhood may be a little crowded, but architecture like that fires the imagination. Oh the breakfasts we would have, tucked into a well-lit Victorian cranny. Oh the parties we would have, drinking rum madras on the second story porch. Oh the trysts we would have, squeezed into the delicate cupola... Now if we could only move it to Barbados.24th & Whitis

Best Place to Rubberneck

I-35, Lower Deck Chronicle sources (staffers stationed toward our eastward facing windows) claim that Friday afternoons are the best time to watch the overheating (in the summer months) urban hordes rend bumpers, hoods, and tempers as they flee northward. In the winter, our sources suggest, foggy windshields provide an even grislier, more slippery spectacle of internal combustion implosion, any day of the week. Best times to watch: 8-10am for the southbound lanes; 4-6pm for the northbound.I-35, between Airport & Manor

Best Office Foyer

William P. Clements, Jr. Building Known around the Capitol Complex as the Jukebox building or OCS (One Capitol Square), the Clements building was home to the Lege when the Capitol was under restoration. Now housing various state agencies, it's a shame not as many people get to walk through this elegant foyer. Surrounded by a glass front, the marble floor's pattern guides one's eye to a classically styled free-standing clock. It's a great respite from the traffic and noise outside on Lavaca & 15th.300 W.15th

Best Place to Get High and/or Re-enact a Scene From Rear Window

Best Place to Get High and/or Re-enact a Scene From Rear Window The Omni Hotel photograph by Bruce Dye

The Omni Hotel The Omni's glass elevators are not intended for pregnant women, those with heart conditions, or children under 4'. The ultraswank elevators overlooking the lobby are Austin's closest approximation to a carnival thrill ride. "Stop this thing... I feel sick!" For a different kind of thrill, sit at the Omni Hotel's lounge, and the friendly bartenders will relate harrowing tales of couples, trios, and beyond who don't realize (or do realize, and enjoy) that their room'swindows allow for two-way viewing. Patient voyeurs may catch a glimpse of the intrigue themselves.700 San Jacinto, 476-3700

Best Lobbyist Holding Pattern

Central Court Open Air Rotunda, State Capitol Extension During the Lege, you can see every type of digital and cell phone known to human (with a lobbyist attached) in the Open Air Rotunda. Power suits and ties now aren't complete without the technological power tools. Wheelin' and dealin' is the bidness here as each step taken in both houses creates a surreal electronic flurry of activity.112 E. 11th, 305-8400

Best Restaurant Transformation

Suzi's China Grill Restaurant builder par excellence Frank Seely garners our kudos for his skills in turning a plain American sow's ear, CoCo's at Shoal Creek & Anderson Lane, into a very classy Chinese silk purse, Suzi's China Grill. Seely and restaurateur Suzi Yi chose a subtle, non-traditional Chinese decor for her second Austin location. The interior features sponge-painted walls in soothing greens and muted golds, forest green booths and chair seats with black tables, a stained concrete floor, and an open kitchen revealing a row of blazing woks. No vestige of the generic former chain restaurant remains.7858 Shoal Creek, 302-4600

Best Reuse & Recycle

Downtown Warehouse District Bringing together business owners, historical preservationism, and common sense environmentalism, the rebirth of the downtown warehouse district is the best thing to happen to hanging out in years. With special zoning that allows restaurants and bars to open up in previously dilapidated buildings without providing parking lots or sidewalks, the city has created the most vital, viable corridor in years. The more we pull the suburban sprawlites into town for their lattes and lagers, the better off we're all going to be — economically, environmentally, and socially. Heck, even Jim Bob Moffett and Bill Bunch could find something to agree on over beers on the roof of Waterloo.

Best Roof Art

37th & Speedway We think that a person who puts strange objects on the roof of his or her abode deserves to have them stared at. While we're not sure if the rotation of objects like an old but classic vacuum cleaner or an equally old but classic beauty shop hair dryer have some deep, symbolic meaning, but the speculation sure makes sitting in traffic a heck of a lot more fun.37th & Speedway

Best Street Name

Kumquat Court Austin boasts a mapful of colorful street names, from the zoological (Ferret Path, Gnu Gap, Possum Trot) to the raucous (Whiskey River Drive, Hangman's Court, Wild Basin Ledge) to the precious (Betty Jo Drive, Bunny Run, Cooing Court). Then there's the legal (Alimony Cove), bothersome (Cockleburr Cove), folksy (Cotton Picking Lane), financial (Easy Street), surreal (Dali Lane), mythic (Frodo Cove), moral (The High Road), and soulful (Sugar Shack). Others are just fun to say: Bodark Lane, Capsicum Cove, Festus Drive. But for pleasing taste, phonemic grace, and general flippancy, Kumquat Court gets the nod.

Best Street Name Kumquat Court photograph by Bruce Dye

Best Wistful Transport to Veracruz

Mexico Chiquito Sign Heading out south on Airport, toward the 183 interchange, we notice this handpainted wonder. "Mexico Chiquito, Frutas Verduras y Tacos lo Mejor en Comida Mexicana con Sabor Casero," it reads, highlighted with little fruits on the bottom and etched in that handmade style gracing so many of the beachside cantinas of Veracruz. This place isn't even open yet and we can taste the salt of the sea and the salt of our lover's neck on those quiet nights on the gulf. Or maybe that's just the salt from the many shots of tequila savored then to toast the future and now to forget the past....817 Airport

Best Wishful Transport to Veracruz Mexico Chiquito Sign photograph by John Carrico

Best Teeny Neighborhood

The Maplewood-Ashwood-Kirkwood Duplexes Perhaps it is the small size, the distinctive housing, or a transient population that leaves little time for the subtle bonding forged in more stable communities. Whatever the reason, this three-street neighborhood of brightly painted army duplexes is a good bet for old-fashioned neighborliness on a short schedule. Move in, open your windows, and stand around in your front yard a bit, and in no time you'll be going to potlucks, sharing hex wrenches... even borrowing a cup of sugar now and then.

Best Use of the ComericA Bank Building on Congress

Frontera@Hyde Park's Deviant Craft We should have known that any play that starts with a spiel about gravity-free blueberries would be a little unusual. But when that play is produced by Frontera, a company that has just begun to explore all of the unique, found spaces in this town, we should have known that Deviant Craft would be an aesthetic coup as well. The production's power could not have been experienced without the character of this raw, unfinished space and Frontera's commitment to finding it.Frontera@Hyde Park Theatre, 302-4933

Best Streetside Icon

Best Streetside Icon The Walker Tire Man photograph by John Carrico

The Walker Tire Man Nothing brightens our day like a drive past Walker Tire's tautological "If It's in Stock, We've Got It" Man. Sleeves rolled up, cap tilted just so, spouting that absurd slogan, this smiling wooden cutout is an eager and innocent hero for jaded times. Meaninglessness has never been so refreshing.6926 N. Lamar, 454-8772;/ 117 E. Oltorf, 444-4737;/ 5501 Burnet, 454-7788

Best Interchange-in-Progress

183 & N. I-35 Death Star monster/machine. Of course, some probably wish it would. C'mon, development naysayers — even you have to admit that driving on the new northbound I-35-to-northbound183 flyover makes you feel like you're launching into outer space instead of the glut of North Austin strip malls. The view from up there, though brief, is not too shabby either.