News Ticker: October 23

Sid Miller catches cat scratch fever, Dan Patrick taxes our patience, and John Cornyn becomes a poser. Celebrity is on the News Ticker.

• When you belong to the party of Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum, it can be difficult to look like a man of the people. Some Republicans, like Texas Senate candidate Mike Novak, try to show their casual side.

• Others, like Atty. Gen. Greg Abbott, like to show their successes with the ladies.

• Of course, his cheerleading for the new Voter ID law might make dating a little difficult.

• Sid Miller is eager to show voters he has the rock and roll swagger of Jim Morrison. But since he couldn't quite pull off the "king" part, he settled for the lizard.

• Sen. John Cornyn's efforts at being a cool guy, however, always seem to fall a bit flat.

• Since the four Republican contenders for lieutenant governor basically have the same policy ideas, the candidates are being forced to play up minor differences. For example, Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson squints when he fires a gun, but Ag Commissioner Todd Staples squints when he fires a gun.

• If you listen closely to end of Sen. Dan Patrick's latest Lt. Gov. ad, you can hear the sound of Moloch being dragged back to his fiery pit.

• Republican Chart Westcott has entered the race for House District 108. He's probably been plotting that move for years.

• The Washington Post reports that Sen. Ted Cruz hasn't alienated everyone. For example, makers of ear plugs just love him.

• In other Cruz news, CNBC senior economics reporter Steve Liesman suggested that the network play "some Mexican music" to accompany a segment about the senator. The white person later apologized "if [his] remarks were insensitive," which was somewhat diminished by his wearing a sombrero.

• Rep. Jim Pitts says that there is plenty of evidence to impeach UT Regent Wallace Hall. Even more evidence has been accumulated to prove that Hall needs a haircut.

• J.C. Penney is trying to recover from CEO Rob Johnson's highfalutin tenure by demanding that shoppers immediately stop referring to the store as "J.C. Pen-nay."

• Members of the Young Conservatives of Texas, Longhorn Libertarians, and Republicans of Texas are opposing the UT-Austin student government resolution in support of undocumented Longhorns, calling themselves the "silent majority." We call them jerks, but we realize that language is fundamentally malleable.

• Like Britney Spears after the bald years, Hydrilla in Lake Austin is under control.