The AggreGAYtor: January 24

Brendon Ayanbadejo has Buzby Berkely dreams, Paul Clement has a sweet fantasy, and Leticia Van de Putte keeps shooting for the castles in the sky. Today’s AggreGAYtor hears the secrets that you keep, when you’re talking in your sleep.

• Oklahoma Representative James Lankford, the last horrifying frame of The Grudge’s death tape, isn’t above using humiliation to stop LGBTs from getting substance abuse help. Spooky.

• DOMA dracula Paul Clement shudders when he thinks of the mightiness of gay people.

• House Dems try to convince the Republican majority to vote for the Violence Against Women Act by reminding them that the soulless Gorgon they worship is in fact a woman.

• He said the name Bojangles and he danced a lick all across the cell.

• Beginning in 2014, Oregon will start covering transition care under Medicaid.

• Facebook would have gotten away with blocking the founder of Gay Marriage USA’s page, but Tom has had it out for them since the mass migration from MySpace.

• The National Organization for Marriage is making robocalls in Rhode island alleging that efforts to bring marriage equality to the state is putting marriage in “unprecedented danger.” Just like when Ashley Judd Sandra Bullock Julia Roberts uncovered the real reason that two Supreme Court were assassinated and she had to find comfort in the arms of Denzel Washington.

• The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, a twice-baked potato covered in yesterday’s giblet gravy, catches up with the inaugural hate parade.

• Connecticut’s senate has confirmed the first out state Supreme Court justice. This of course caused a giant lacuna to form, revealing that the hellmouth is no longer in Sunnyvale, California.

• Aging ventriloquist’s dummy Gary Bauer isn’t ready to give up ground on his fight against marriage equality, a fight admittedly limited by the heavy hand of Edgar Bergen.

• Steven W. Ramirez is our nation’s finest citizen.

• Five Milwaukee men have been indicted for the murder of transgender rapper Ebony Young.

• A Floridian man was forced to remove a pride flag from his trailer due to “community complaints.” According to sources, rainbow color are particularly menacing when viewed under the influence of bath salts.

• Maybe Orlando’s Lake Middle School has a point in trying to stop the formation of a gay/straight alliance. The last time those two got together, pogs became a nationwide fad. None of us need to relive that nightmare.

• A group calling for Heterosexual Awareness Month has decided to officially sponsor Valentine’s Day. That’s fine, really, but they’ll have to give up Halloween.

• Dr. Mohd Puad Zarkashi, Malaysia’s Deputy Education Minister, says that “LGBT is a social illness.” Gee, I hope I don’t catch it. Sounds terrible.

• Life for LGBTQ Egyptians has not improved after the Arab Spring.

• Sadie, Sadie, awesome lady.

• Oh and also Jacob Rudolph.

• Ooh ooh! And Brendon Ayanbadejo! He’s a pretty righteous dude. Like … he, Sadie, and Rudolph together would be way cooler than the Powerpuff Girls.

• Chely Wright and wife Lauren Blitzer are expecting twins. Immediately after the birth, the kids will be spanked, washed, and sent to wardrobe for their start turn in the big screen adaptation of Double Trouble.

• A couple in Tyler is alleging that the local YMCA is discriminating against LGBT families.

• San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro has hired a new LGBT liaison to help beef up that score on the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index.

• Pssstttttt. Hey, over here myfoxaustin.com. Look, I’ve heard you aren’t as mean as your big national brother and that you think Megyn Kelly is kind of awful too. Sooooo…I just wanted to let you know that people are not “transgendered” and that it’s incorrect to call gender reassignment surgery a “sex change.” OK? Alright. You look hot, gurl. LYLAS!

• Confidential to State Senator Leticia Van de Putte: thanks!