The Devil in the Details
While the many cameras at the Capitol recorded passionate but basically civil protests, Texas Right to Life Executive Director Jim Graham saw something far more sinister in the abortion right rallies. Demonic forces were lurking in the rotunda, forces so dark they could only resort to the danse macabre of thousands of Caribbean cruise-goers.
In his latest fundraising letter, Graham relates his fevered take on the "unruly mob." Claiming media bias, Graham entreats his supporters to spread the word about progressive activists' blackest masses. Luckily for his flock, he has seen it all before. Our blasé Van Helsing describes his harrowing experience as "Just another day in the life of your average pro-lifer."
From there, the story becomes a H.P. Lovecraft gothic. "So there I was, encircled by a diabolical conga line of abortion supporters who were exclaiming 'Hail Satan' and other chants," Graham begins. "I can't even put into print some of the words shouted at me and pro-lifers by the angry rent-a-mob funded by Planned Parenthood, NARAL, MoveOn, and the International Socialist Organization."
Spooky. To make matters worse, those fiendish hordes were wearing orange – the color of jack-o'-lanterns and Doritos and Mike Huckabee. Why it's the very shade Satan smears on his eyelids before each of his sold-out cabaret shows.
Graham continues,"Whipping themselves into a frenzy, these Wisconsin Wannabees carried lewd posters and did whatever they could that they thought would shock the encircled pro-lifers and cow them into fleeing. Suffice to say, these dark angels had obviously never encountered the steeled determination of pro-lifers, never mind a group of life defenders actually in the throes of battle when the lives of thousands of human beings are on the line."
Obviously, the "unruly mob" had gone too far. As Graham notes, "even the official UK Church of Satan in England has denounced them as too extreme. I can't make this stuff up." To his credit, Graham indeed did not make that part up. Turns out that the ubiquitous pentagram is actually an abstracted unborn fetus. Politics makes strange bedfellows.
Worked into a tizzy, Graham goes on to bemoan his organization's depleted reserves. He reminds anti-choicers that it takes a lot of capital to bus so many blue shirts to the Capitol. Oddly, he then damns the opposition for using the same tactics. What's more, Graham accuses abortion rights groups of hiring protestors – presumably plucked from talent agencies specializing in controversial weddings and bar mitzvahs. It seems some people will do anything to make a buck – or as Graham suggests, "$50, $200, $750, or even $2500."
Full letter available here.