News Ticker: April 30

Allan Ritter dries out, the Statesman plays hide and seek, and Austin Energy suspects foul play. Malfeasance is on the News Ticker.

• Rep. Allan Ritter's bill aiming to use Texas' Rainy Day Fund for water projects might have failed to attract enough drips.

• Bro! Dude! Dude-brah! Austin may soon be going extreme.

• We would like to read the rest of the Austin American-Statesman's coverage of the early AISD bond election turnout, but half of their site is now marked as "premium content." For now, we'll just have to assume they spent three more rapturous paragraphs exclaiming their love for Honey Boo Boo.

• Austin cab drivers are teaming up with the AFL-CIO’s National Taxi Workers Alliance. The cab drivers will now be just like Optimus Prime, if he spent more time ignoring humanity.

• If a mysterious caller claims you have to pay your overdue utility bill immediately to avoid disconnection, do not give them your credit card information. However, if a certain Chronicle employee says the same thing, it's probably best just to trust him.

• Although we know that Allison Orr's Trash Dance is amazing, we keep forgetting we have seen it. Every time we hear the name, we keep conjuring an image of Jennifer Beals pulling a cord, hair whipping in a yogurt cup shower.