The AggreGAYtor: December 18

• Like a sugar buzzed five year-old itching to open his birthday presents, necrotic pustule James Dobson could not wait one more minute to blame Sandy Hook on homosexuals.

• The Montana Supreme Court has rejected a case demanding that same-sex couples be offered all the rights of straight couples as “too broad.” Cases can still be made for specific rights for those willing to choose their own discriminatory adventure.

• Hawaiian Senator Daniel Inouye, one of the most steadfast LGBTQ legislative allies, has died at 88.

• DC police have arrested drag activist Qween Amor for performing a protest dance in front of Lancelot cosplayers the Black Israelites. Apparently, the “Cabbage Patch” has been illegal in the Capital since 1997.

• Today in obvs, the Sixth Circuit Appeals Court has ruled that the University of Toledo had grounds for firing anti-LGBT diversity officer Crystal Dixon. News watchers may remember her editorial from earlier this year entitled “I Can See with All the Colors of the Wind - Except for Pink Because That Reminds Me of Vaginas and Homos, Eww.”

• An Iowa judge has overruled the state’s objection to listing both members of a lesbian couple on their child’s death certificate.

• Two Michigan bills that would have given adoption agencies and healthcare providers carte blanch to discriminate have been defeated.

• Floridian LGBT advocates just aren’t buying that perfectly browned meringue Charlie Crist regrets his anti-gay votes. Of course, flip flops do seem apropos in Florida’s blistering climate.

• Rhode Island’s Senate will vote on marriage equality if Rhode Island’s House passes the current bill. This seems to generally be the way lawmaking is handled, but Teresa Paiva-Weed felt the need to make an announcement anyway. But I guess that’s her priority since she is, as Queerty reminds us, “the President of Rhode Island.”

• The fever dreams of those hoping that a kinder, gentler senator would replace sour gobstopper Jim DeMint have been squelched with the appointment of Tim Scott.

• The US Embassy in Kosovo has issued a formal statement condemning recent anti-LGBT attacks.

• Uganda's President Yoweri Museveni publicly comments that he doesn’t think gay people should be killed. Maybe roughed up a little, but definitely not killed.

• An appeals court in Cameroon affirms three-year sentence for man who texted “I'm very much in love with you” to another man.

• A billboard for a New Zealand church that calls for Jesus to come out is giving folks the vapors.

• In Great Britain, a North African national has been given 29 years for the rape of a lesbian woman. The man had told the woman he was gay to gain her confidence.

• Despite his assistant coach’s ramblings that he should shut up and play ball,Chris Kluwehas joined Hudson Taylor’s Athlete Ally Ambassador Program as the first pro member.

• On my list of comebacks I had hoped for in 2012, football hooliganism was only slightly above Paris Hilton’s music career.

• U.S. Marine Corps Matthew Phelps proposes to his partner Ben Schock ath the White House. Squeeing ensues.

• Although I am not well versed in the elaborate etiquette rituals of outer space, it does seem that NASA could have honored Sally Ride by picking a different celestial object to share her name other than a lunar impact site. It’s like naming something the Thurgood Marshall Memorial Ditch or the Harvey Milk Sidewalk Crack.

• Connie Fleming looks pretty rad as Michelle Obama on the cover of Candy magazine.

• The galaxy’s favorite “interspecies lesbian vigilante couple” will be returning to “Dr. Who,” nerds.

• All I want for Christmas is Boo.