The AggreGAYtor: December 7
• A marriage equality decision could come today as the Supremes meet again behind closed door. I still wouldn’t get my hopes up. John Roberts just got his copy of Call of Duty: Black Ops.
• Chirlane McCray, the wife of New York mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio, admits she was once a lesbian but now she’s strictly dickly. All those photos of Beyoncé on her computer are there because she likes her style. Yeah, that’s it.
• Tea-stained raisinette Jim DeMint resigns from Senate to run anti-gay think tank the Heritage Foundation.
• Two thirds of respondents in a new national poll think that anti-LGBT discrimination is a big deal.
• In a stunning dramatic reenactment of Morrissey’s “Hairdresser on Fire,” London stylist Lee Howett stabs a homophobic train passenger with his scissors.
• If the National Organization for Marriage doesn’t want to be seen as a rabid militia who time traveled from the Antebellum south, perhaps returning money from white supremacists would be a good start.
• Hahaha. The Liberty Council is trying to start a meme. Can’t wait to see this one on Buzzfeed.
• The members of Sweden’s Sörskogens IF football club have all been fired for hurling homophobic slurs at opposing team. Reportedly sales of Ikea’s Sörskogens planter are also slumping.
• Today in heartwarming, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell tears up as bullied gay brother describes him as his hero.
• New LDS website tries to convince gay Mormons to stay with the church.
• A senate panel has approved the nomination of openly lesbian judge Pamela Chen to the federal bench.
• Just as Notre Dame’s new LGBTQ student organization used all their seed money to order Crisco and vibrating appliances, the university tells them they will have to promote chastity.
• Meanwhile, Tulane’s student government body rejects LGBT liaison while snockered on jello shots.
• According to new research, bisexuals are more likely to report sexual orientation to doctors than their gay and lesbian counterparts.
• Sex is in the air and Rihanna likes the smell of it.
• Pop star
Ke&ha Ke@ha Kesh$a, a stick of Fruit Stripe gum dipped in melted crayon and rolled in glitter, really wants to be a gay man.
• Ugandan rag Red Pepper publishes photos of football manager Chris Mubiru engaged in alleged gay sex.
• Arrests have been made in the brutal beating of Brazilian law student André Baliera.
VIDEO BONUS: Ru sure knows how to jingle them bells.