Up Too Early

Why is this Starbuck's Vente sitting alone in a field?

Here’s what’s disturbing about this dude: Who is he hiding from? Canadian Geese? The Viet Cong? A Terminator?

Relax Rambo, it’s just a Google streetview car – probably being driven by a fresh-faced college kid wearing khaki pants and a blue polo shirt. It was either drive this contraption or clean vomit off the playscape at Chuck e Cheese’s. No contest. Then again, it’s a Google car, so I’m not even sure the kid has to drive it.

Maybe this guy is right. Maybe this really is the robot revolution and he is loading up his 12 gauge so he can go out and waste some Roombas. Those things are scary – especially if you’ve eaten a few mushrooms. They’re like the Mona Lisa’s eyes. They inexplicably follow you around the room. Roombas are ingeniously designed to go after the lazy bastards who won’t even pick up a broom. Why? Because their extra layers of suet are worth more amperage when you jack them into the matrix. This guy isn’t exactly corpulent, but apparently he’s not taking any chances.

Luvdoc Fashion Index: 5 (because I can only see half of him)