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What Does Rick Perry Sing in the Shower? 

 Tue Apr 3, 5:00pm , 2007


NUUUUUUUUGE!!!
Wango Tango! Did Ted Nugent do something more racist than wearing a Confederate flag T-shirt at Gov. Rick Perry's inaugural ball? He says not, but that may not be the end of Perry's embarrassment over the gonzo rocker.

On Thursday, March 20, the Nuge sat down with Evan Smith for an upcoming session of Texas Monthly Talks. Inevitably, the discussion turned to claims that he made racist comments onstage at Perry's victory shindig on Jan. 16 this year. The writer of such "classics" as "Yank Me, Crank Me" and "Cat Scratch Fever" was quick to say that he never said "All you dirty, stinking Mexicans should go back to where you came from" onstage, and the only thing he calls stinking is his guitar.

However, the furor around whether he made these comments at an event arranged by Perry could pale in significance in the shadow of his huge revelation that Perry is a "hardcore" fan who has seen him live around the state "for years." Even worse, the Nuge said that Perry's favorite love song is that classy ode to sex "Wang Dang, Sweet Poontang," with its immortal opening couplet "That Nadine, what a teenage queen/She lookin' so clean, especially down in between."

The Nuge also clarified that he believes in the Ten Commandments, in the Second Amendment, and "If you can't speak English, you got to learn as fast as possible or get the hell out of America," but that he also has Mexican and Hispanic friends, so that's OK. The Waco resident went on to blame everything on bureaucrats, bad drivers, and the "overtly irresponsible, unprofessional, obscene left-wing media in Texas." He even claimed that no one had said they had been tortured by U.S. forces in the war on terror, saying, "Give me a name. Have someone step forward and go, 'I was tortured and here's how.'" Of course, Evans quickly corrected this, but Nugent could become the first of a new breed: Abu Ghraib deniers.

Whether Perry would regard this as sufficient grounds to distance himself from the former Damn Yankees guitarist could be moot after the claim that his favorite song has the lyrics "She's so sweet when she yanks on my meat."

Perry's office was contacted for a comment, but so far there has been no response, possibly because they're all too busy rockin' out to "Fist Fightin' Son of a Gun."

The interview will be shown on KLRU: Check their Web site for times and dates.
 

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