Luv Doc Archives
B Scene (Friday May 2, 2008)
Lone Star State Jam (Saturday Apr 26, 2008)
Sex Toy Coming Out Party (Saturday Apr 12, 2008)
SXSW Free Concert (Saturday Mar 15, 2008)
Harold and Maude (Sunday Feb 17, 2008)
KLBJ's Pleasurefest (Friday Feb 1, 2008)
James Brown Live 1968 (Monday Jan 21, 2008)
ROCK & ROLL PARTY (Friday Jan 11, 2008)
White Ghost Shivers (Friday Dec 28, 2007)
'Checking It Twice' (Thursday Dec 6, 2007)
Man Fest (Saturday Dec 1, 2007)
Bob Dylan Hoot Night (Thursday Nov 8, 2007)
Austin Haunted Forest (Friday Oct 19, 2007)
WFTDA Championship (Friday Sep 28, 2007)
Beer 101 (Sunday Sep 9, 2007)
Music Under the Star (Friday Jul 27, 2007)
Karaoke Apocalypse (Friday Jun 29, 2007)
FanFare Friday (Friday Jun 22, 2007)
The Miracle Bash (Saturday Jun 9, 2007)
Republic of Texas Rally (Thursday May 31, 2007)
Austin Reggae Fest (Saturday Apr 21, 2007)
Urban Music Festival (Saturday Apr 7, 2007)
Cornell Hurd (Saturday Feb 17, 2007)
Merry F***king Xmas (Friday Dec 15, 2006)
The Art of Andy Warhol (Saturday Nov 18, 2006)
Double Exposure (Thursday Nov 9, 2006)
Extravagasm 2006 (Saturday Nov 4, 2006)
The Rocky Horror Show (Thursday Oct 26, 2006)
aGLIFF Closing Party (Sunday Oct 8, 2006)
Fantastic Fest 2006 (Thursday Sep 21, 2006)
Keepin' It Weird (Thursday Sep 14, 2006)
2nd Annual Batfest (Saturday Sep 2, 2006)
White Ghost Shivers (Saturday Aug 19, 2006)
Bruce Robison (Saturday Aug 5, 2006)
Viva Las Vegas (Saturday Jun 24, 2006)
Texas Pride Festival (Saturday Jun 10, 2006)
BOBaritaville (Saturday May 27, 2006)
Urban Music Festival (Saturday Apr 8, 2006)
Trail of Lights 5K (Saturday Dec 10, 2005)
James McMurtry (Friday Nov 11, 2005)
Extravagasm Fantasy Ball (Saturday Oct 22, 2005)
Texas Barbecue Festival (Saturday Oct 8, 2005)
Austin Bat Fest (Saturday Sep 3, 2005)
The Monster Big Band (Sunday Aug 14, 2005)
Devil's Day at the Cove (Saturday Aug 6, 2005)
The Greencards (Friday Jul 29, 2005)
Heybale! Concert (Friday Jul 22, 2005)
The Emotions (Monday May 30, 2005)
The Vagina Monologues (Saturday May 7, 2005)
Pro Beach Volleyball (Friday Apr 29, 2005)
Carnaval Brasilero (Saturday Feb 5, 2005)
The Magnetic Fields (Friday Dec 10, 2004)
Waiting on Godot (Thursday Nov 4, 2004)
Linucon (Friday Oct 8, 2004)
Cinematexas 9 (Thursday Sep 23, 2004)
East End Soulfest (Friday Sep 17, 2004)
George W. Bush Singers (Friday Jul 23, 2004)
Red, White & Americana (Sunday Jul 18, 2004)
Salute to Linklater (Friday Jul 2, 2004)
Movies in the Park (Friday Jun 25, 2004)
ASA’s Viva, Las Vegas! (Saturday Jun 19, 2004)
Salvage Vanguard Cinema (Saturday Apr 17, 2004)
SXSW Free Concert (Friday Mar 19, 2004)
Dexter Freebish (Saturday Mar 6, 2004)
I-Mixer (Friday Feb 20, 2004)
Tribute to the King (Friday Jan 9, 2004)
The Diamond Smugglers (Wednesday Dec 31, 2003)
Holiday Hullabaloo (Saturday Dec 13, 2003)
All Good Stuff (Sunday Nov 30, 2003)
The Resentments (Sunday Nov 16, 2003)
Texas Book Festival (Saturday Nov 8, 2003)
Austin Record Convention (Saturday Oct 25, 2003)
Summer 2003 H2Ho Show (Friday Sep 19, 2003)
Keep Austin Weird 5K (Saturday Sep 6, 2003)
Pet-a-Palooza (Saturday Aug 30, 2003)
Grease Sing-Along (Saturday Jul 26, 2003)
Ray Benson In-Store (Friday Jul 11, 2003)
|

|
Luv Doc Recommends
Movies in the Park at Republic Square
Sat., May 10, 9pm
Republic Square Park
, 422 Guadalupe
If you’re looking to get laid, it’s always best to have a reliable wingman. You can fly solo, but it amps up your creep factor considerably. Other than a handful of tight-lipped cinematic tough guys like John Wayne, Steve McQueen, and Clint Eastwood, mysterious loner types don’t have a good track record. They’re always stacking bodies down in the crawl space, cooking their victims up with fava beans, luring little kids into windowless vans, and perforating the skulls of innocents with stunbolt guns. Loner chicks don’t exactly inspire a vote of confidence, either. How about Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction? Or Glenn Close in 101 Dalmatians? What is it with Glenn Close and small, defenseless animals? No doubt the casting director figured that if Glenn didn’t mind boiling a bunny, she probably wouldn’t have a problem with stitching up a puppy coat. And really, as crazy as that bitch was, you have to admit the coat was pimpin’, yo. This is not to say that groups of people don’t do some crazy shit on occasion (Bush … twice?), but generally the group dynamic includes a normalizing effect. Maybe if John Wayne Gacy had a few more friends, one of them might have chimed in with “Dude, you definitely have a dead animal in your crawl space” – or maybe one of them actually did and ended up there. Regardless, no matter how pure your intentions, no matter how mentally sound you are on paper, if you roll up to a party in a dented cargo van wearing a clown suit, most sane people will scatter like cockroaches. The only way you’re going to get anyone to come near you is to whip up a breathtaking menagerie of balloon animals. So, yes, at the very least a wingman is important - especially when trolling for strange. Ideally your wingman is a trusted friend and not some homeless person you lured along with the promise of a convenience-store rotisserie hot dog and a 40-ounce malt liquor. People judge you by who you hang out with, which is why your wingman should be cute, but not so hot that people will want to fuck him. He should also know when to keep his mouth shut. That story about the time you had freaky motel sex with that chick with huge hands and an Adam’s apple may be hilarious, but when it comes to impressing the ladies, you might as well be wearing a blood-stained clown suit. It’s hard enough to find good friends, but finding a good wingman is even harder. That’s why a lot of people choose to get a puppy, instead. Everybody loves puppies (with the exception of maybe Glenn Close, who loves them in a different way). Everybody wants to pet them, too. They’re like furry, little magnets for the opposite sex. It’s true that they eventually grow up, get fatter and lazier, and develop halitosis, but even the ugliest dog beats no dog at all – especially if you tie a day-glo bandanna around its neck. Plus, getting a dog is much easier that making a friend. Finding friends takes a lot of time and effort, but all you have to do to find a dog is visit your local animal shelter. Sure, there’s also the many years of feeding, walking, washing, and following it around with a plastic bag, but if you’re friendless in the first place, it might help with your character development. This weekend you can get further instruction on the care and feeding of your wingman at Republic Square Park, where the Austin Parks Foundation and the Alamo’s Rolling Roadshow are screening Christopher Guest’s classic, Best in Show. This bring-your-wing event also includes dog training demos, dog agility demos, silly pet tricks, and giveaways from Emancipet, the city's Scoop the Poop Program (huh?), Lofty Dog, and the Austin Parks Foundation. You could come solo, but if you do you might want to bring a pocketful of skinny balloons.

|