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Texas/OU Halftime Report

Horns halftime speaker Joel Osteen: 'I got nothing'

By Michael Corcoran, 1:37PM, Sat. Oct. 13, 2012

Texas/OU Halftime Report

Savannah State was laughing their asses off during the Horns’ 36-2 first half loss to Oklahoma. Horns halftime motivational speaker Joel Osteen was seen slinking out of the Cotton Bowl late in the second quarter, when OU had already amassed over 400 yards of offense to UT's single first down. Mrs. John Wayne Gacy had a better half.

The Horns shit the bed Saturday morning, with a performance so dreadful a highlight was having a fumble overturned on replay so Texas had to punt instead. Overmatched? We were Jared from Subway, they were Sonny Liston.

The Horns’ first six possessions ended in punt, punt, punt, punt, INT, safety, in this Red River Meltdown, while the Crimson crew started off TD, punt, TD, TD, TD, punt, TD. We were manhandled in the trenches and it just spread from there like a infection. The usually reliable Kenny Vaccaro is praying Mel Kiper didn't see this one.There may be a deep snapper taken ahead of him in the draft if he keeps playing like that.

Outcoached, outplayed, outhustled, outtackled, outblocked- Texas came out of the “good team” closet against Oklahoma. Again. Mack Brown, a $5 million a year pastry chef, goes for character guys, who get their asses kicked annually by OU thugs and then thank Jesus. Christ, the only drama left in the second half was whether this game would end up worse than that 63-14 from a few years back. If not for a mercy TD as time ran out, the score would've been 63-15.

Not only was the Texas season basically over at halftime, we don't have A&M on the schedule to possibly save it.

On "Get To Know Your Real Team Saturday," the Horns lost the game 63-21 and their All-American candidate DE Jackson Jeffcoat for the season with a ruptured pectoral muscle, but they weren't the only team exposed as padded frauds. Last week's opponents the West Virginia Mountaineers were humiliated in Lubbock by Texas Tech 49-14. Ranked No. 5 after beating Texas 48-45 on the road, the Brokeback Mountaineers crawled back to WV with their tails between their legs. Texas plays Tech in Buddyville, in three weeks. "Oh, Boy."

But first there's Nick Florence and the Baylor Bears at home next week, followed by Kansas on the road. Two weeks ago, those looked like easy wins, but after OU showed that UT's O is as bad as the Manny Iaz defense, ranked No. 99 in the country after yielding 677 yards to Oklahoma, Texas could lose both of those. Then it's on to Tech, followed by a tough Iowa State, rebounding TCU at home and Horn-killers Kansas State away. Not an easy run.

Could Texas lose out? They certainly performed like a 4-8 team against the Sooners. Unable or unwilling to step up, the 2012 Horns make it seem like Mack could be short for Mackovic. But the good news is that QB David Ash didn't break his left wrist and may be able to play Saturday.

The championship season of 2005 was so long ago the hero is now working as a greeter at a Downtown steakhouse. Since losing the 2009 championship game to an inferior Alabama team, Texas is 17-14. We've lost more games in the past three and a half years as we did the previous eight. This is a program on a dive of Mel Gibsonian proportions. Coach Brown can't be loving his job, but that shouldn't be a problem next season.

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