Flat-Out on the Track

Hotrod Honeys' blocker Radio Active feels jaunty in victory (Photo by Richard Whittaker)

Ask any flat track roller derby fan, and they'll tell you the Texas Rollergirls are known for their grace and skill. But last weekend, the brawling spirit of all four home teams emerged.

Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the high stakes. After April's 76-37 defeat by the Hustlers, the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers needed a win over the Hotrod Honeys to get back into title contention. The same was true for the Hell Marys, but the stakes were higher: Coming out of the March Round Robin 0-3, and then losing to the Hotrods in April, they had everything to prove against a resurgent Hustlers.

It looked like the weekend to do it: The Hustlers were playing a depleted line-up, with co-captain Das-It absent from the track and Babe Ruthless out with a spinal injury. But even if they had been there, the Marys wouldn't have lain down. With Bloody Mary back on fighting form, Muffin Tumble at the top of her blocking game, and this season's most promising acquisition The Angie-Christ on the jammer line, this was vintage Marys.

The Hustlers were also giving them opportunities, since it took until about midway through the first period for their wall to come together. Both teams started grinding out the points, with the Marys starting to put a small but usable points margin on the board.

But then, disaster struck. It was one of those avoidable moments that a team will always regret: With the seconds ticking down on the first period, the Marys didn't get a jammer to the line within the allotted 30 seconds. When time-keeper The Prosecutor blew the whistle, Acute Angel found herself jamming without opposition, and flew through the pack, turning a 29-34 disadvantage into a 43-34 lead for the Hustlers.

Bloody Mary of the Hell Marys takes the fight to the Hustlers (Photo by Richard Whittaker)

This period-ending mistake seemed to light a fire under the Marys, but the Hustlers' pack was too solid and aggressive. Even with Barbarella having knee and mouth guard problems, the Hustlers' jamming had Angel and Molotov M. Pale to rely on. After two grand slams (courtesy of Angel) in the next-to-next-to last jam of the bout, the Hustlers just locked down the score, bringing in a 69-50 victory and their second win of the regular season.

The Heartbreakers were in a tougher position: Lose, and they were 0 for 2 for the post-round robin season, and seemingly out of championship contention. Win, and they'd have the major boost of taking down the team whose starting line-up for home bouts looks like the travel squad.

From the start, it looked like the Hotrods might have everything their own way. With both Rice Rocket and Lucille Brawl back on the jamming line after a hiatus, they spent the opening minutes crushing the Heartbreakers, leading 21-1 by jam 7. It wasn't the most graceful bout Playland has ever seen, with multiple spills on jam 4 putting the tumble into rough and tumble. Then Olivia Shootin' John took advantage of Vicious Van GoGo getting sent to the penalty box to rack up an extra nine points, and suddenly the ladies in gingham seemed back in contention again.

Coming into the second period 17-36, the Heartbreakers had a long way to go: But they seemed prepared to make every lap of the track as grueling and brutal for the Hotrods as possible. Desi Cration was blocking hard and jamming fast, turning the pack into a meat grinder and managing to take Rice Rocket down twice in the same jam (no mean feat.) But the Hotrods were prepared to take the odd point here and there, calling jams just before the Honky Tonks could produce much. It wasn't always pretty, but it was pretty effective, sealing the deal with a 52-45 win for pink-and-black.