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More Like the Pink Panthers! (Sorry I'm Not as Funny When They Win)

By Jeremy Martin, 6:02PM, Tue. Oct. 31, 2006

What's more awkward than Steve Martin hooking up with Beyoncé? Try a tender celebration sideline kiss from Bill Parcells.
What's more awkward than Steve Martin hooking up with Beyoncé? Try a tender celebration sideline kiss from Bill Parcells.

This Sunday's game against the Panthers was like my dream come true, complete with the disturbing gay undertones. Seriously, what was going on with Bill Parcells playing Seven Minutes in Heaven on the sidelines this week? Sure scoring 25 points for a come-from-behind win is exciting, but I haven't seen that many awkward old-man kisses handed out since my grandpa was in town. The real credit for the win goes to the Dallas defense, which allowed only 204 yards and 16 first downs, and the Julius Jones/Marion Barber double team, which combined rushed for 156 yards and three touchdowns.

Drew Bledsoe, for his part, has not yet figured out how to throw an interception from the sidelines.

Seriously though, the real question here is: Should Cowboy fans be happy or sad? Sure Dallas beat a real team for the first time this season, and the entire team looked better than they they have all year, but realistically Romo had a decent-at-best game Sunday, completing two-thirds of his passes for 258 yards, one touchdown and one interception.

The real problem is this: Last week, Jerry Jones told The Associated Press he might have to trade for a top-shelf QB in next year's draft if Romo doesn't work out this season. If Romo manages to pull the season out of the crapper, I can give up my dreams of the Cowboys pulling a Jimmy Johnson-style maneuver to grab Troy Smith or Brady Quinn this spring. More likely though, look for the Cowboys to continue the trend of being just good enough to discourage making any real changes.

No wonder Cowboys assistant coach Todd Haley has apparently given up on the season all together and decided the real money is in finding dead rats in your salad.

We can at least expect back-to-back wins in Washington and Arizona, which will hopefully lube us up for the complete reaming we'll get at home when Peyton Manning comes to Irving Nov. 19 to bend us over.

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