FEATURED CONTENT
 

newsdesk

News Ticker: September 17

All the news that's fit to blog

By Brandon Watson, 4:40PM, Tue. Sep. 17, 2013

News Ticker: September 17
photo by John Anderson

David Dewhurst steps in it again, Tom Pauken stands up for the little guy, and Rick Perry backs it up. Rhetoric is on the News Ticker.

• Slots filled up quickly for today's State Board of Education textbook hearings. Apparently some folks take issue with the mathematical fact that 1 + 2 = eternal damnation, fornicator.

• Like a gilded suppository, Gov. Rick Perry has once again inserted himself into the Obamacare debate.

• Sen. Leticia Van de Putte, chair of the Senate Veterans Affairs and Military Installations Committee, quickly seized the moment after Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst told a Houston crowd that none of the state's Democrat-led committees were important. Sen. Royce West was quick to remind that the Senate Geegaw and Whatchamacallit Committee actually does some pretty crucial work too.

• Since gubernatorial candidate Tom Pauken raised the ghost of Clara Peller in asking "where's the beef?" of opponent Greg Abbott, we think other politicians should follow suit in digging through the marketing slogan detritus. Our suggestions?
Davis: Just Do It
Rep. Jodie Laubenberg: Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut
Dewhurst: What Can Brown Do For You?

• Meanwhile, Pauken is crowing that Davis has a chance of beating Abbott in the governor's race. Apparently Pauken, having been bestowed super powers by a radioactive gnat, is the only person who can stop her.

• Today is Constitution Day, the joyous day in which various conservative politicians pretend to care about "we the people," while the rest of us choke down Michelena's Chicken Primavera because it's three days until payday.

• New evidence has surfaced that proves Sen. Ted Cruz is little more than a puppet for the right.

• A Dallas-area McDonald's franchise is now banning sagging pants. Don't worry, they're still OK with sagging wages.

• Fetal pain. It's complicated.

• The Austin Business Journal has published a complete list of all the ways downtown Austin is changing. Luckily, the unpleasantness of downtown remains eternal.

• According to the American Council for an Energy-Efficient Economy, Austin is among the best cities for adopting energy efficient policies. Once we figured out how to harness all the hot air coming out of the Capitol, it really wasn't all that difficult.

• The Texas Retailers Association has dropped the lawsuit against Austin's bag ban. Perhaps somewhere in their righteous indignation, they realized members are in the business of actually selling stuff. Stuff like reusable bags.

share
print
write a letter