Texas Department of Public Sexy
Dating site ranks Texas Troopers second most stylish in nation
By Brandon Watson, 4:15PM, Fri. Jul. 19, 2013
Being a single Texas State Trooper is now more difficult than ever. Try to ask a woman on a date and she freezes, afraid you're going to seize her tampons or cast aspersions on her jar collection. And asking for the number of that orange-shirted firebrand is, well, just a bit awkward. Handcuffing is not what Beyoncé meant when she said "put a ring on it."
Luckily for our lonely troopers, they have a weapon more powerful than their batons. According to internet matchmaker UniformDating.com, there are quite a few fans of the tan.
At UniformDating.com we’re under no illusions as to where the long arm of the law’s power really lies; it’s all in their uniform, of course! A uniform is far more than simply work wear – it’s a status symbol, a badge of honor, a sign of discipline and respect. From brass-buttoned blazers and shiny leather riding boots, to cowboy-style holsters and stiff-brimmed Stetsons, America is home to some of the most iconic and may we add lust-inducing cop uniforms in the world.
Hubba-hubba. No wonder the Capitol grounds were littered with so many ripped bodices during the abortion protests.
But according to Uniform Dating, some uniforms are better than others. The Texas DPS is particularly sexy. In the website's latest survey, 11% of users ranked Texas Troopers the most stylish in the nation, bested only by the New York troops and their steamy grey wool. To the experts, the ranking should come as no surprise. The website explains, "When you think law and order, you think Texas They have a long history of law enforcement, with the roots of their establishment going back as far as the formation of the State. These roots are reflected in their uniform – from the Lone Star badge on their arms to the Stetsons on their heads, which goes some way to explaining why their uniform gets Uniform Daters so hot under the collar."
Especially when they are being collared.
But what is it that makes today's trooper so alluring? Is it the way the tan broadcloth hugs a donut-filled belly, or the tantalizing way the wide sleeves expose a hint of naughty untanned skin? No, says Uniform Dating, it's the "softer side." The preference for light colored uniforms in the survey "suggests that as well as power and strength, people value a partner who is warm and easy-going," say the matchmakers. What's more, the sharp Stetsons suggest a brooding soul. "Police in hats...are seen to have more authority than those in more casual hats or none at all, suggesting that while many Uniform Daters want their partner to have a softer side they still long for a strong exterior."
You heard it here first, Texas Troopers. There's no need to go to extremes. Why confiscate a woman's pads when you can confiscate her heart?