News Ticker: April 23

All the news that's fit to blog

Larry Klayman worries about the trees in the forest
Larry Klayman worries about the trees in the forest

Mark Sanford gives a history lesson, Larry Klayman goes on a witch hunt, and John Carona has some labor pains. Responsibility is on the News Ticker.

• The Texas Lottery Commission has an itch that the Texas House will no longer scratch.

• No one seems to be particularly alarmed that an explosive device was found in an Austin building.

• The Austin Parks and Recreation Department has partnered with the Smithsonian Institution to bring more exhibits to Austin. But why make it such a one-way street? Word is a certain spit guard is about to go to auction.

• According to a photo being circulated via social media, a lawsuit has been filed against the West Fertilizer Co.

• Gov. Rick Perry wants to make it clear that oversight was not the problem. It's not like plant conditions could have changed much in seven inspection-free years. Things move slowly in Texas, like molasses out of jar.

• And besides, mega-birther Larry Klayman already has this one figured out. It was the Muslims! They're everywhere - Oklahoma City, the Branch Davidian compound, Kim Kardashian's womb. Stare at this magic eye for a couple of hours. Uh-huh, Muslims.

• Although the lamaze session was a bit huffier than he expected, Sen. John Carona is glad to have given birth to a big "ugly baby."

• Meanwhile, the Senate has decided that maybe Robin Hood was on to something. He just needed to do everything in reverse.

• According to the New York Times, the Texas bluebonnet season means one thing - rampant crime.

• Former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford kinda, sorta remembers the Alamo. Something about crossing lines, right?

• They stop off at Cinnabon on the weekends. Maybe they sprinkle it on a frapp√©, thinking it's all a joke. Soon they are shoveling spoonfuls of the stuff down their ever-hungry gullets, oblivious that they are causing America's latest health epidemic.

AC Daily, Events and Promotions, Luvdoc Answers

Breaking news, recommended events, and more

Official Chronicle events, promotions, and giveaways

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)