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News Ticker: April 11

All the news that's fit to blog

By Brandon Watson, 3:30PM, Thu. Apr. 11, 2013

Rep. Jodie Laubenberg can feel your pain
Rep. Jodie Laubenberg can feel your pain

Lance Armstrong relocates, Jodie Laubenberg bloviates, and Joe Barton illuminates. Action is on the News Ticker.

• Bizarrely, the Travis County Sheriff's Office media alert regarding yesterday's Union Pacific fatality describes the apparent suicide as "train vs. pedestrian." The TSCO might be just a little bit jaded.

• Beloved fabulist Lance Armstrong has reportedly sold his Austin manse. Maybe he's downsizing?

• The University of Texas is stepping up campus security after a non-credible bomb threat was called in yesterday.

• Hopefully more lobbyists in Texas will learn a lesson from the Sierra Club's Cyrus Reed, who made his point about static Railroad Commission penalties by wearing a Miami Vice style suit. School choice advocates can come as Oliver Twist. Those interested in casinos can swim in Ocean's Eleven flash.

• And Rep. Jodie Laubenberg can come as a terrified zygote. Politics should be fun.

• Still, it's not clear how electric automaker Tesla Motors could have jazzed up their presentation at the Capitol. A screening of 2 Fast 2 Furious would have been nice, but Naomi Gonzalez might have got some ideas.

• The Texas Senate is deeply concerned with some welfare applicants' urine.

• The Lord said "Joe, there's going to be a floody floody."

• Although the typical tensions are escalating in North Korea, Ashley Judd is the biggest current threat to American democracy.

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