News Ticker: April 4

All the news that's fit to blog

Rep. Gohmert
Rep. Gohmert

Louie Gohmert connects the dots, Ted Nugent hunts for relevance, and Lance Armstrong takes a dip. Character is on the News Ticker.

• Looks like the Trail of Lights this year might be a little underwhelming.

• The House is expecting a very long day as they debate more than two hundred amendments to the budget. After his third energy drink expect Bill Zedler to get into an awkward conversation about why Jesus loves his bill best.

• It appears Louie Gohmert believes in the sanctity of shotgun marriages.

• Since he spends most of his time attending various legislative sessions, maybe its time we all admit that Ted Nugent is no longer a "rocker." At best, he's Glenn Beck after a few guitar lessons.

Lance Armstrong is vehemently denying that he is using performance-enhancing gills in his new career as a swimmer. Feel free to insert your own "wha-wha-wha" here.

• Three bills dealing with the El Paso Schools testing scandal "sailed to passage" in the Texas Senate. If you ask me, they might have had a little help.

*The original version of this post implied that both Bill Zedler and Louie Gohmert are state representatives. Louie Gohmert is a US representative.

READ MORE
More News
The AggreGAYtor: June 1
The AggreGAYtor
What happened today in gay? Here’s your QILTBAG recap of queer news.

David Estlund, June 1, 2015

The AggreGAYtor: May 29
The AggreGAYtor
What happened today in gay? Here’s your QILTBAG recap of queer news.

David Estlund, May 29, 2015

More by Brandon Watson
The Take-Out
The Take-Out
Giving back to the hospitality industry

Dec. 9, 2016

Review: Sophia’s
Review: Sophia’s
Classic Italian eatery needs far less flash

Dec. 2, 2016

KEYWORDS FOR THIS POST

News, Louie Gohmert, Texas House Budget, Bill Zedler, Ted Nugent

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
NEWSLETTERS
AC Daily, Events and Promotions, Luvdoc Answers

Breaking news, recommended events, and more

Official Chronicle events, promotions, and giveaways

Updates for SXSW 2017

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)