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High School Ridicule

Dianne Feinstein gets testy with Ted Cruz

By Brandon Watson, 11:30AM, Fri. Mar. 15, 2013

High School Ridicule

It's OK, Ted Cruz. We know it's hard to be a freshman. You put on your power suit each morning and Brylcreem your hair. That's what all the cool kids are doing. Heck, even Ronald Reagan did it, and who doesn't like Ronnie? But maybe you should stop trying so hard to get noticed. I'm sure Dianne Feinstein will come around some day.

Home room got a little tense yesterday before the Senate Judiciary Committee vote on Sen. Feinstein's assault weapons ban. The bill cleared the committee on a 10-8 vote along partisan lines, but is not expected to clear the full Senate. But the committee debate gave a preview of the likely snippiness to come. Sen. Cruz, eager to share all the information he learned in Mrs. Rand's history class, decided to give Feinstein a rundown of the Bill of Rights. Puffed up, Cruz decided to repeat some questions he heard David Keene ask last summer at NRA camp.

Would she deem it consistent with the Bill of Rights for Congress to engage in the same endeavor that we are contemplating doing to the Second Amendment, in the context of the First or Fourth Amendment? Namely, would she consider it constitutional for Congress to specify that the First Amendment shall apply only to the following books and shall not apply to the books that Congress has deemed outside the protection of the Bill of Rights? Likewise, would she think that the Fourth Amendment’s protection against searches and seizures, could properly apply only to the following specified individuals, and not to the individuals that Congress has deemed outside the protection of the law?

Chill out, Ted. No one likes a know-it-all.

After shooting quick side-eyes to the other popular kids, Feinstein quickly put Cruz in his place.

Let me just make a couple of points in response. One, I'm not a sixth grader. Senator, I've been on this committee for twenty years. I was a mayor for nine years, I walked in, I saw people shot. I've looked at bodies that have been shot by these weapons. I've seen the bullets that implode. In Sandy Hook, youngsters were dismembered.

Look, there are other weapons. I'm not a lawyer, but after twenty years, I've been up close and personal to the Constitution. I have great respect for it. This doesn't mean that weapons of war, and the Heller decision clearly points out three exceptions, two of which are pertinent here. And so I, you know, it's fine you want to lecture me on the Constitution. I appreciate it. Just know I've been here a long time …

Looks like Cruz won't have a date for prom after all. Maybe he and John Cornyn can go stag and spike the punch bowl. And if that doesn't work, there's always next year. After all, everyone says "it gets better."

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