The AggreGAYtor: March 4

Your daily dose of LGBTQIA news

Local hip-hop legends GOD-des & She will be performing at the Outlander Festival
Local hip-hop legends GOD-des & She will be performing at the Outlander Festival

Lech Walesa puts his foot in his mouth, Jodie Foster refuses to cooperate, and Bryan Fischer worries about locker room horseplay. What would we do, baby, without today's AggreGAYtor?

• Since Mondays should always start with hope, Washington scientists are reporting that they have apparently cured a baby born with HIV.

• I know, I know, Tina Brown is "provocative." But isn't it time we admit that she isn't a prophet? And that Obama is NOT the "first gay president?"

• Prosecutors are asking that the father from Family Ties receive up to 3 years in prison for his role in a Vermont lesbian custody dispute. We always knew that Alex P. Keaton would someday be able to convert his dad, but his becoming a Mennonite seems a bit unexpected.

Al Qaeda isn't all that happy about President Barack Obama's marriage equality support, which obviously means that John McCain is a terrorist.

• I know that we're not supposed to "bully" the enemy, even when they wear T-shirts that could intimidate LGBT students and are otherwise jerks, but the name Seth Groody would be a good euphemism for the lump of phlegm that sometimes gets stuck in the back of the throat. Oh? Only Dan Savage can do that?

• By Virginia law, Spa World is perfectly within their rights to discriminate against LGBT patrons. But maybe we ought to give them the hot stone treatment.

• Apparently, they'll give the Nobel Peace Prize to anyone these days. Victoria Jackson should start shopping for tasteful evening gowns now. Maybe a nice Galliano?

• Cardinal Keith O’Brien, Britain's highest-ranking Catholic leader, has resigned over allegations of hanky panky. Neither the hanky nor the panky were defined.

• Kaopectate-soaked cotton ball Bryan Fischer worries that having gays in NFL locker rooms would cause a "grenade-like explosion." Sounds wet.

• The National Review is disappointed in CPAC for excluding GOProud, which is the least compelling public feud since Azealia Banks decided she had it in for Perez Hilton.

• Lesbian sleeper agent Jodie Foster wants no part in Rosie O'Donnell's gay parenting book. To protect her privacy, La Foster made the announcement over the intercom of LaGuardia Airport.

• A Dallas-area lesbian was attacked over the weekend for defending her son against anti-gay bullies.

• Austin's homegrown Outlander Festival is getting some national press. Kudos!

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