https://www.austinchronicle.com/daily/qmmunity/2013-01-18/the-aggregaytor-january-18/

The AggreGAYtor: January 18

By Brandon Watson, January 18, 2013, 1:50pm, Qmmunity

Angelina Jolie prepares for the role of a lifetime, Marion Berry rises to the head of the class, and Dear Abby invents snark. Wise men don't need advice. Today’s Aggregaytor won't take it.

• Nine New York cops are being named in a lawsuit alleging an anti-gay Pride weekend attack.

• On the opposite coast, a gay LAPD officer has been awarded $1.5 million in a harassment suit settlement.

• NOM’s Matt Barber has unearthed evidence that gay folks are “lethal,” exposing the shameful secret of America’s drone program.

• Minnesota lawmakers have introduced an initiative to eliminate LGBT from being discriminated against in jury selection. Although every measure to even the playing field is welcome, perhaps we can sit on this one for a few more years.

• Two men have been arrested in Louisiana for a bashing at a Lafayette movie theater.

• Thank goodness that Republican congressmen have no complaint about raising the debt ceiling. I would hate for all those lawyers who are defending DOMA to have to give up Netflix.

• Political operatives are suggesting that openly gay John Berry may be on the list to replace Secretary of Interior Ken Salazar , another way in which Washington is just like a Graham Greene novel.

• Basic Rights Oregon is petitioning Fox News to stop being transphobic frat boys already.

• In DC, the quickest way to head committees devoted to LGBT and HIV/AIDS concerns is to say you’re totally against marriage equality. And also to be just the tiniest bit nuts.

• Among the many theories circulating about why Notre Dame gridiron star Manti Te'o made up a dead girlfriend (she goes to another school, you wouldn’t know her) is the suggestion that he is hiding his decidedly non-Catholic sexuality.

• According to “sources,” Angelina Jolie is making a documentary about Angelina Jolie, a young woman who overcame bullying, bonked Jenny Shimizu, and became a humanitarian. The film will star Angelina Jolie as “Angelina” and will be directed by independent upstart Angelina Jolie.

• The Florida Family Association disagrees with Lady Gaga’s assertion that LGBTQ folks were “born this way,” adding that marriage equality laws will soon have people marrying the night. You know how those slopes tend to be slippery.

• For those worried about the AggreGAYtor going on a Godzilla-style rampage due to an overwrought critical disagreement, “How to Survive a Plague” did indeed win Best Documentary at GALECA’s Dorian Awards. You can now start drinking all that Merlot you’ve been hoarding.

• Here’s one of the reasons why Abby remains dear.