The Austin Chronicle

http://www.austinchronicle.com/daily/gay-place/2012-11-13/the-aggregaytor-november-13/

The AggreGAYtor: November 13

By Brandon Watson, November 13, 2012, 3:15pm, The Gay Place

David Letterman goes through diversity training, Ralph Reed fades into the sunset, and Liza Minelli lands a role. Today’s AggreGAYtor is sweating to the oldies.

Frank Schubert, a black market Teddy Ruxpin hastily made from scraps of pleated Dockers, insists that marriage equality victories don’t mean a thing.

• The owner of the Miss Pittsburgh is having a rhinestone conniption about similarly named LGBT pageants.

• UPS ends donations to the Boy Scouts over gay exclusion.

• Trans woman is suing the U.S. Bureau of Land Management for excessive force in park dispute.

• Evil ventriloquist’s dummy Gary Bauer contends that the GOP can win Latino voters by doubling down on the homophobia.

• The billboard for a LA-based online gay talk show keeps getting defaced. Suspects range from graffiti artists who have taken up interest in abstract expressionism to a giant who really likes Craig and Robbie.

• Mystical tree elf Anderson Cooper explains the gay to David Letterman.

• If the AggreGAYtor could figure out how to link this article to a sound file of “Tubular Bells,” he would. For now, just lightly hum it while imagining members of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops hovering in the air like white-collared grackles.

• LGBTQIA drivers who want a little license plate pizzazz should be advised that “BEARJEW,” “RAMITNU,” and “MUFDVR” have all been banned in Kansas.

• Like the gold finish on a pair of Forever 21 chandelier earrings, Ralph Reed’s luster is fading.

• Salon’s list of film’s queer villains is conspicuously missing Anthony Marentino. Shudder.

• Celebrate 90’s butt cuts with this recently resurfaced gay commercial from Guiness.

• Speaking of ads, Marc Jacobs is a wanker.

• The LDS church bars gay-straight alliance choir from having rehearsals in ward meetinghouse, but in the most polite way imaginable.

• The Human Rights Campaign issues equality index on Jewish community organizations.

• Support for criminalizing homosexuality is growing in Swaziland.

• The AggreGAYtor wants to form a girl group with first-love Meghan Rapinoe and Cantonese pop star Denise Ho, which has very little to do with the linked story but I’m hung over.

• Here’s Jon Stewart arguing with a giant butternut squash about gay marriage.

Represent!

Liza Minelli, who invented homosexuality while having a particularly productive brunch with Halston, will be playing the role of “Liza Minelli” on TV’s “Smash.”

• During Sunday’s game, Brendon Ayanbadejo graciously accepted props from several Raiders for work on Maryland marriage equality.

• Partygoers at tonight’s totally rad, totally free bestravaganza might see the AggreGAYtor act a fool. It happens.

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