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The AggreGAYtor: November 8

Your daily dose of LGBTQIA news

By Brandon Watson, 3:30PM, Thu. Nov. 8, 2012

Mary Gonzalez is going to have a House party
Mary Gonzalez is going to have a House party
photo by dallasvoice.com

Chris Kluwe puts on a happy face, Meghan McCain bogarts the joint, and Madonna feels dejected. Today’s AggreGAYtor is an afternoon delight.

• The election keeps churning out warm tinglies, like the afterglow of a yearlong tantric sex session that no one but Nate Silver was sure would end in orgasm. First up, at Obama’s victory party, a lesbian couple decides to celebrate four more years by making a lifetime commitment

• Super ally >Chris Kluwe put on his widest grin.

• Baltimore Raven’s Brendon Ayanbadejo was likewise “stoked.”

Maggie Hassan, one of the architects of marriage equality in New Hampshire, celebrated with a governorship.

Tina Kotek made merry as the nation’s first lesbian state house speaker.

Meghan McCain was happy too, but that might have been because she was high on jazz cigarettes.

Mary Gonzalez became Texas’ first female LGBTQIA legislator AND the first openly pansexual candidate to ever win public office in the US. Give 'em hell, Mary.

• Even Austin got some play in the Extra-Special Queerlection Spectacular, voting in Rev. Dr. Jayme Lee Mathias as AISD’s first openly gay school board member.

• BTW - LGBTQIA voters were overwhelmingly prObama. Duh.

• Meanwhile, the religious right are trying to pick up the pieces of their shattered, hateful fever dreams. Brian Brown, the oily grit left over from the Exxon Valdez spill, is in the denial stage of post-election grief.

• Enchanted Yahoo avatar bskillet81 of the Christian Men's Defense Network is in the anger stage, blaming sluts and their propensity for “hot alpha sex.”

• Only Maggie Gallagher has moved on to acceptance. This is possibly because her mind remains thoroughly unclouded by hot sex, alpha or otherwise.

• But cheer up Mags, at least homophobia still plays in Kansas.

• And in Alabama too. They reelected Roy Moore, who is convinced that our acronymically inclined community is going to destroy these here United States.

• Also TV’s beloved center square Marcus Bachmanngot to listen to his Cats cast recording all night as wife Michele ebulliently planned ways to annoy queers in her new term.

• And Magda can keep warm with the knowledge that at least one homo is bereft too. Chin up, Petie Brant. I know it's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain, but you’ll make it through somehow.

George Clooney’s sister looks at all the rumors, surrounding him every day.

• Look who’s talking too. Dancing scientologist Kirstie Alley says she is quite sure that John Travolta is not gay.

Madonna mourns the loss of her playground as Lady Gaga refuses to join her on stage.

Nicole Scherzinger almost got into a pussycat brawl when a contestant was accused of having “fag breath” on Britain’s X Factor.

• The Sundance Channel’s 2013 schedule includes a reality series about a transgender man.

• Gay marriage is a “sham that will smash the foundations of society,” says a very dour man wearing a fuchsia beanie.

• Ugandan Police raided the premier performance of Talented Ugandan Kuchus.

• Scottish court confirms that being called a “gay painter” is not at all insulting, adding that it is much more insulting to be called the “next Damien Hirst.” Oooh burn!

• The San Francisco Health Commission removes transgender restrictions from health access program.

• Austin’s Trinity United Methodist Church ring in twenty years of inclusion with an anniversary “Gay-la.” Goodness Gay-cious.

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