https://www.austinchronicle.com/daily/qmmunity/2012-10-29/the-aggregaytor-october-29/

The AggreGAYtor: October 29

By Brandon Watson, October 29, 2012, 3:30pm, Qmmunity

Roseanne Barr puts her foot in her mouth, President Obama hedges his bets, and Elvira discovers the fountain of youth. 1 – 2, today’s AggreGAYtor is coming for you.

• Crafty Maryland anti marriage equality ad edits Michelle Obama’s DNC speech to make her seem opposed to gay marriage. The AggreGAYtor tried a similar project trying to manipulate Mobama’s speeches into Run the World (Girls) but apparently she has never said “motha” publicly.

• Another ad claims that proposed law would make gay marriage mandatory to the Maryland school curriculum. By November 5th, the groups will just be running LBJ’s infamous "Daisy” commercial with a new voiceover.

• Lady Gaga may be taking her Madonna schtick too far.

• Green Bay Catholic Bishop warns supporting pro-LBGTQIA candidates could “put your own soul in jeopardy.” Jesus, responding from an undisclosed location recently vacated by Julian Assange, corrects “on Jeopardy, ON Jeopardy.” Apparently the quiz show is very popular in the afterlife.

• Roseanne Barr lost ally status over the weekend with transphobic tweets. Comments like hers play into the dangerous misconception that transgender individuals have hidden motives in seeking public accommodation, a misconception that leads to violence.

• British gay sperm donor is ordered to pay child support for thirteen year-old biological son.

• Iowan married lesbian couple fights for right to include both parent’s names on stillborn child’s death certificate.

• Instead of fighting it out in the courts, the AggreGAYtor suggests that gay fraternity Delta Lambda Phi competes with gender neutral “frarority’ Delta Lambda Psi in a ball. The first category is business professor realness. I want to see tweeds, hunty.

• Poz undocumented immigrant Coelho Ribero is languishing in detainee center without critical care.

• Gay male victim of domestic violence sues program for denying him facial reconstruction surgery commonly offered to women.

• Elvira is 61. Sixty. One. She either bathes in the blood of virgins or uses copious amounts of La Mer.

• The Aurora School district forms a committee to draft new transgender discrimination protections after kowtowing to religious right.

• Queens gay activist Lou Rispoli has died after brutal assault.

• If this trend piece is to be believed, an increasing number of Indian women are following the Michelle Bachmann model of marital harmony.

• A reporter from LBGT publication the Washington Blade is denied entrance into Virginia hate rally.

• Meanwhile, two gay men were forced to leave Romney rally without explanation.

• Ugh! President Obama, please stop dithering about marriage equality being a state’s decision.

• Chaz Bono reveals that some “Dancing With the Stars” fans did not keep things strictly ballroom. My guess was that Bristol Palin sent the death threats, carefully cutting each letter out from bills her mom ignored while governor.

• Gay GOP goon calls North Carolina House candidate an “ugly old dyke.” How very Lincoln-Douglas.

• Perpetual teenager Alicia Silverstone admits that she was once adorably clueless.

• Texas Senator John Carona is romneying on his earlier support for gay rights legislation.

• Acronym reductive glossy L Style G Style will immediately go on hiatus after launching jumbo sized Texas edition to seek new funding or buyout. Perhaps they should expand their coverage past the 1% of the 3-5%. Just a thought.

• Austin Police have arrested the suspect in the Pride Weekend beating of two gay men.