The AggreGAYtor: September 5

Ellen DeGeneres is immortalized, Nicki Minaj is up to no good, and Hank Williams Jr. makes some rowdy enemies. Today’s AggreGAYtor dares wear short shorts.

• If Victoria Jackson had continued her career in sketch comedy, Saturday Night Live might look like this gay-baiting anti-Obama ad. Instead we got Chris Kattan. Not sure if that was a great trade-off.

• Massachusetts judge orders prison to provide sex reassignment surgery for inmate.

• John Travolta’s alleged ex-lover offers more salacious details. Tell me more, tell me more. Was it love at first sight?

• The Democrats ratify their new super-duper homospectacular platform.

• Southern-fried gizzard Hank Williams Jr. hocks up some homophobia at Fort Worth festival.

• Long Beach Police are investigating possible hate crime outside gay bar.

• The AggreGAYtor is calling bullshit on Jeff Lewis’ claim that he didn’t know that the term “he/she” was offensive.

• World’s most adorable person Ellen DeGeneres gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

• As a devotee of short shorts, the AggreGAYtor does not look too kindly at attempts to make them no-homo.

• Human kaleidoscope Nicki Minaj admits she made up the whole bisexuality thing.

• Rickie Vasquez Wilson Cruz joins GLAAD staff. Angela Chase was unavailable for comment.

• Festering cold sore Scott Lively suggests Christians go Frankenstein on gays.