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Top/Vers/Bottom Ten (er... Nine)

Was 2009 a year for the queers?

By Andy Campbell, 4:36AM, Thu. Jan. 7, 2010

SIS-E-DEUX!
SIS-E-DEUX!

Ok, so I'm late with my top ten list. Here's how I justify it:

A#1) How can you talk about 2009 like it's over if you don't have some kind of critical distance from it, post-Dec. 31?

B#2) I was too busy celebratin' and recoverin' and I didn't want to do any bloggin'.

But anywho here's my top nine (clever Chronicle... ending 2009 with top 9 lists... I worry about 2040)

1) Uganda. Wanna hear a funny joke?
Knock Knock
Who's There? The Uganda Gays
The Uganda Gays who?
(Silence because they're all DEAD or in prison!)

2) A year of queer beatings/killings in our own backyard. Letsee, um, there was the Rainbow Lounge in Fort Worth, The death of James Lee Whitehead, Chico's Tacos in El Paso, and most recently a kid was sexually assaulted, beaten and left for dead (although thankfully he's still alive) in Terlingua. and so…

3) … is it any surprise We're not getting help on the national policy level with the sanctity of our lives? DoMA, DADT, Partner Benefits, monies for queer suicide prevention?

4) When I was ragin' about all of the first three items on the list over the past year I would just sit down at my lappy toppy and watch Christeene videos. The brainchild of Paul Soileau (aka Rebecca Havemeyer), Christeene "Cumdump" Vale is the nastiest thing this side of Ms. Jackson you'll be seeing. And this was her year. Give Paul another year and he'll run this town.

5) The opening of Sis-E-Deux. I hear the shower is still fully operational. Dirty. Also Kiss and Fly opened… with dirty Qua money. I guess being nestled between two gay clubs makes you yearn for a piece of the gay pie, huh? Transparent bullshit. The FUBU rule applies here. One of these new bars is For Us By Us, and it rhymes with Yippee-doo.

6) A successful Pride '09. Some queers were skeptical (and for good reason considering previous years' ventures), but the team who pulled off this past year's pride is to be thanked and commended. Everyone seemed to be having a good time - oh except the board members who drop-kicked Jimmy post-pride. What crack rock were you smoking? And please don't give me any.

7) Pinkout in TV-land: RuPaul's Drag Race, Ellen, Glee!, American Idol, Modern Family, Nurse Jackie, Tyra Banks, America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, and Jersey Shore. What, you don't believe me on the last one? I'll punch your lights out!

8) Lynnee Breedlove and Silas performed their work at Gay Utopia this past year and blew us away with ruminations on trans history, dildos, fishing, and the expressive power of queer biography.

9) Alternaqueer Events: Homoscope, Men-R-G dance parties, Drageoke, Hey Homo!, Gay Bi Gay Gay, Kings N Things, etc. We are having a queerenaissance in Austin and you are invited. To. Make. Out. With. Me.

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