Up Too Early

Google Streetview fashion critique from South First

I'm lost and I'm twirling my hair.
I'm lost and I'm twirling my hair.

What could be hotter than an out-of-towner riding a rent-a-bike wearing a pair of daisy dukes and nerdy Roman sandals? OK, maybe if she was Natalie Portman that would be hotter, but only slightly.

Yes, she’s rocking a sporty white top and those daisy d’s are nearly up to the bikini line, but the hottest thing about this woman is her SXSW Interactive badge. It’s like a walking sandwich board advertising that she has a hotel room – probably a three star, unless she’s the web designer at Howard Payne U, then the best you could hope for would be a Fairfield. That would be a bit of a bringdown, but it would explain the Sandals.

Regardless, she’s pretty much a dream date. Sure, you could loll around her room the next morning ordering room service and listening to her regale you with her in depth knowledge HTML 5 coding standards, but the more polite thing to do would be to discreetly slip out of her cuddle in the middle of the night and hot foot it back to your band van.

At least that eliminates the awkwardness of having to remember her name once she’s taken her badge off. If you sleep in and she manages to rifle through your pants get your name off your drivers license, just remember in less than a week she has to fly back to whatever backwater she’s from where those sandals are acceptable footwear.

Luvdoc Fashion Index: 8.0 (not even Natalie Portman is hot enough to make those sandals work)

More by The Luv Doc
Luv Doc: Prohibition
Luv Doc: Prohibition
God help the affable, chubby, slow kids with thick glasses

Oct. 21, 2016

The Luv Doc: How Clever You Are
The Luv Doc: How Clever You Are
Where everyone gets their three minutes to bomb

Oct. 14, 2016

AC Daily, Events and Promotions, Luvdoc Answers

Breaking news, recommended events, and more

Official Chronicle events, promotions, and giveaways

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)