Up Too Early

Google Streetview fashion critique from Barton Skyway

At least this guy isn't driving the Google camera car
At least this guy isn't driving the Google camera car

This guy’s mom probably just texted him to get his bangs cut because he has such pretty eyes. Moms are like that - always up in your grill about putting your best face forward.

Really, your mom’s probably right, but if you stopped slouching and acting all sullen and wearing black ankle socks (shouldn’t those come with garters?) with black sneakers and a frumpy white polo shirt, you might start actually getting laid. You might even have to quit your WOW gamer group. That sounds like a lot of trouble to me.

Text to mom: “You’re not the boss of me! I can wear my hair however I want! P.S. – Would you throw my other pair of ridiculously long shorts in the washer?” I’m going to my gamer group tonight and I don’t want them to make fun of the 6 inches of tan between the bottom of my kneecaps and the tops of my garter socks. Gamers can be so cruel.

Yes they can, can’t they? So can random people online who troll through Google streetview looking for fresh fashion victims. It’s enough to make you not want to go outside. Sometimes when you’re really busy flame texting your mom you don’t even notice the Google camera car passing by a few feet away and you become a (sort of) online celebrity! Then again, this guy may actually be a celebrity. He does look a lot like Gibby Haynes … or maybe Dave Grohl?

LuvDoc Fashion Index: 6.5 (1.5 point credit for extra long Beiber bangs)

READ MORE
More by The Luv Doc
Luv Doc: Be a Champion
Luv Doc: Be a Champion
You have to silence the doubters, the boo birds and the armchair quarterbacks

Dec. 9, 2016

Luv Doc: Strew Your Seed
Luv Doc: Strew Your Seed
Usable knowledge in the agricultural sciences

Dec. 2, 2016

MORE IN THE ARCHIVES
NEWSLETTERS
AC Daily, Events and Promotions, Luvdoc Answers

Breaking news, recommended events, and more

Official Chronicle events, promotions, and giveaways

Updates for SXSW 2017

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)