Up Too Early

Google Streetview fashion critique from Barton Skyway

At least this guy isn't driving the Google camera car
At least this guy isn't driving the Google camera car

This guy’s mom probably just texted him to get his bangs cut because he has such pretty eyes. Moms are like that - always up in your grill about putting your best face forward.

Really, your mom’s probably right, but if you stopped slouching and acting all sullen and wearing black ankle socks (shouldn’t those come with garters?) with black sneakers and a frumpy white polo shirt, you might start actually getting laid. You might even have to quit your WOW gamer group. That sounds like a lot of trouble to me.

Text to mom: “You’re not the boss of me! I can wear my hair however I want! P.S. – Would you throw my other pair of ridiculously long shorts in the washer?” I’m going to my gamer group tonight and I don’t want them to make fun of the 6 inches of tan between the bottom of my kneecaps and the tops of my garter socks. Gamers can be so cruel.

Yes they can, can’t they? So can random people online who troll through Google streetview looking for fresh fashion victims. It’s enough to make you not want to go outside. Sometimes when you’re really busy flame texting your mom you don’t even notice the Google camera car passing by a few feet away and you become a (sort of) online celebrity! Then again, this guy may actually be a celebrity. He does look a lot like Gibby Haynes … or maybe Dave Grohl?

LuvDoc Fashion Index: 6.5 (1.5 point credit for extra long Beiber bangs)

More by The Luv Doc
The Luv Doc: Willing
The Luv Doc: Willing
Western Europeans through most of the last few thousand years haven’t been very enthusiastic bathers

Feb. 17, 2017

The Luv Doc: Equal Time
The Luv Doc: Equal Time
Good friends are going to cost you

Feb. 10, 2017

AC Daily, Events and Promotions, Luvdoc Answers

Breaking news, recommended events, and more

Official Chronicle events, promotions, and giveaways

Updates for SXSW 2017

All questions answered (satisfaction not guaranteed)