This ship is sailing right into South by Southwestlandia, with each year bringing a flotilla of new gays, et al., to our shores of sassy LGBTQ wonder. Let's enjoy this week before the melee, as we gussy up the joint before company gets here.
MR. COOK'S STRIP-OFF $300 in cash prizes. Thursdays, 12mid. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth.
AUSTIN LGBT BAR ASSOCIATION HAPPY HOUR Watch the gay legal eagles soar! Thu., Feb. 27, 5:30-8pm. Whisler's, 1816 E. Sixth. Free. email@example.com.
ATX: LOVE LIVE Susan Gibson, Ginger Leigh, Ruthie Foster, and guest Carter Samson swap songs. Thu., Feb. 27, 8pm. One-2-One Bar, 1509 S. Lamar. $20. www.one2onebar.com.
MISS TRI-STATES GAY USOFA NEWCOMER PAGEANT Kara Foxx-Paris hosts this regional beauty pageant to qualify performers for Nationals. Thu., Feb. 27, 10:30pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. Free. www.bouttime2.com.
GLORIA ANZALDÚA LUNCHEON This third annual gathering features speaker Mia Mingus. Fri., Feb. 28, 1pm. UT Student Activity Center, 2201 Speedway.
GIRLS WITH GUNZ Nice girls. Nice guns. WrestleWomania. Fri., Feb. 28, 10pm. Cheer Up Charlie's, 900 Red River. $5.
VIVA RED Will there be red food? Will there be DJs named Red? Will there be red carpets that match red drapes? Will there be red thongs and manties for good luck? Will there be a red face if you don't go? Yes. Sat., March 1. Shoal Crossing Event Center, 8611 N. MoPac. $90, $75 advance. www.asaustin.org.
GRAND OPENING: FABRIC FETE Roll yourself up in these bolts. Sat., March 1, 3-7pm. The Cloth Pocket, 5448 Burnet Rd. www.facebook.com/theclothpocket.
BTII ART SHOW It's 'bout time they had an art show. Pieces for sale, too. Sat., March 1, 4-8pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. Free. www.bouttime2.com.
SNATCH, CRACKLE, POP! Black Widow Burlesque presents serial drag by the spoonful. Sat., March 1, 8:30pm. The North Door, 502 Brushy. www.facebook.com/bwburlesque.
DADDIES, BOYS, AND PUPS WOOF! Bad doggy! Yip yip yip YIP! Fundraiser for Austin Gears AIDS Walk Austin and IML 36 Fund. Sat., March 1, 10pm. Chain Drive, 504 Willow.
GLASS ELEVATOR LANDS IN PARADISE Finally. No more last nights. No more closed nights. No more grand openings. May we please get back to normal? Yes, says Sweet Spirit, Magia Negra, Party Girl, and Major Major Major. Sat., March 1, 9pm-2am. Cheer Up Charlie's, 900 Red River. Free.
KIKI KREW Kara Foxx-Paris hosts the BTII version of American Horror Story – Coven. Sat., March 1, 11pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. Free. www.bouttime2.com.
ANAL PLEASURE FOR EVERYBODY Love the booty? Love your booty. Discuss! Sun., March 2, 6-7:30pm. The Q, 3408 West. Free, $10 suggested donation.
FREE BUFFET It's about time someone served up some yummy free grub all week long to soak up all those drink specials. Mon.-Fri., 5-7pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. Free.
GEEKS WHO DRINK QUIZ GAME Be a geek. Be a bear! Buy a drink! Win cash prizes! Mondays, 8-10pm. Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. www.theironbear.com.
I LOVE DICK Dick Nickson, of course. Who doesn't? Tuesdays, 10pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth, 512/494-1150.
LISTEN TO OUTCAST! Tweak your knobs to 91.7FM. Tuesdays, 6-7pm. KOOP Radio. www.outcastaustin.com.
BEDPOST QUICKIES: FROM PAGE TO STAGE New! Free! Five minutes! Go! Yes, it's Bedpost open mic. And boy, do they mean open. You get to read all that steamy stuff that's been welling up ever since your first Bedpost Confession. First Tuesdays, 7pm. North Door, 502 Brushy. www.facebook.com/bedpostconfessions.
MARIA'S BIG BOOBIE BINGO Bring your big ... BINGO daubers and raise some dough for Austin Pride with CupCake and Nadine Hughes. First Tuesdays, 7-10pm. Maria's Taco Xpress, 2529 S. Lamar. Free. www.facebook.com/austin.pride.official.
GO-GO TUESDAYS Boys of Austin Go-Go booties and DJ DefTone offer another place to dance on that night of the week that's become a big gay staple. Tuesdays, 9pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth. Free. www.facebook.com/rainon4th.
LESBUTANTE & THE BOSS An Aus-lez promotion duo that's been bringing the party to the resurrected haus of Chi-Town. Here's their one last big blast before our city becomes a swarm. For one night, one last swarm of local lesbians and friends. Like a boss. And a lesbutante. Wed., March 5, 6-9pm. Upstairs on Trinity, 601 Trinity. www.facebook.com/thelesbutanteandtheboss.
LESLÉA NEWMAN READING October Mourning: A Song for Matthew Shepard will be read and discussed. Wed., March 5, 7:30-9pm. BookWoman, 5501 N. Lamar.
THE RAWK SHOW ART EXHIBIT Nathan James, Austin's one-man booking machine who turned our annual Pride into a destination fest is getting back to his roots, curating the art of rock. Not simply posters and marketing designs, but visual art created by artists associated with rawwwwk, like: Nicole Steen (the Pop Tarts), Inger Lorre (the Nymphs), Christy Kane (Hazard County Girls), Jarboe (Swans), Jeormie Journell, Jill Emery (ex-Hole), and more. March 6-15, 7-10pm. Romani Gallery, 1900 E. 12th. www.facebook.com/therawkshow.
NEW GAYTX FUN GUIDE & 'THE AGENDA' The Austin Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce is throwing their annual #BigGay Kickoff Party next week to welcome newcomers and visitors to town for SXSW. Aside from being the No. 1 way to connect with LGBTQ for the conference, the party is also the launch party for our gAyTX Fun Guide map and the next issue of The Agenda. AGLCC, in collaboration with The Austin Chronicle (yours truly, plus some characters from Gay Place krewe) present this spangle-y digest-sized gay mag promoting economic equality and gender diversity, and this year's new and improved Fun Guide with a full map of gay bars and LGBTQ SXSW events just in time for the teeming masses. Fri., March 7, 6pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth. www.agendaaustin.com, www.austinchronicle.com/gay.
GAYBIGAYGAY 2014 VOLUNTEERS NEEDED GayBi's back. Let 'em know we have their back, and sign up for any number of two-hour volunteer shifts: prefest in building and arting, and fest-proper "in jobs like merch, parking, and water-boi." Sun., March 16, noon-12mid. Webberville Rd., 512/751-1073. Free. All ages. firstname.lastname@example.org. www.gaybigaygay.com.
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