Headliners and elevators, Pootin' not Putin, a bear and a fox. That's all you need to know, gaybirds.
We're ready to bite off a big hunk of 2014 and chew. How 'bout you?
On Our Gaydar
GLASS ELEVATOR SHOOTS INTO THE SKY GOODBYE PARTY 1 It's the last few shows at CUC. Three parties, Fri.-Sun. Come give 'em a hug. Friday, 8-11:50pm outside: Daniel Francis Doyle, the Sour Notes, Residual Kid, Shivery Shakes. 12mid-2am inside: Tiger Waves, La Migra. Fri., Jan. 10, 8pm. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth. www.facebook.com/cheerupcharlies.
KIM ANN FOXMAN House With No Name and Mouthfeel presents disco chanteuse, house music wunderkind, and once front woman of Hercules & Love Affair. Fri., Jan. 10, 10pm-2am. Kingdom Nightclub, 103 E. Fifth Ste. B. $10. www.facebook.com/dancetilyouredead.
POOTIN' ON THE RITZ The Poops get fancy. Pootin' not Putin. Really, go see Poo Poo Platter. Then decide. Is it crass, or is it class? Arcie Cola hosts, DJs False Flag and ScareCrowOnFire spin, and Portland, Ore.'s the DECEPTiCONS (Carla Rossi and Kaj-anne Pepper) and locals Serotonin, Pilar Salt, and Sylvia Divinorum guest. Fri., Jan. 10, 10pm. Elysium, 705 Red River, www.facebook.com/poopooatx.
SHAKING HANDS WITH BIG BUSINESS, A PROCUREMENT FAIR Small biz, meet Big biz, at this fair to air your questions and strategies. AGLCC partners with the big ol' Austin Chamber of Commerce for the first of many events. Fri., Jan. 10, 1-4:30pm. Virginia College at Austin, 14200 N. I-35. Discounts for members of either chambers. www.aglcc.org, www.austinchamber.com.
NAKIA LIVE ON KUTX Austin's big bear voice (as in, NBC's The Voice) free online (www.kutx.org) and on the air (98.9FM) and free to see live with a FB RSVP. Access link through Nakia or Austin Music Foundation's FB. Fri., Jan. 10, 11am. KUTX 98.9FM, 300 W. Dean Keeton, 512/471-1631. Free. www.kutx.org, www.facebook.com/austinmusicfoundation.
BOBBY COOK'S BIG GAY BIRTHDAY BASH DJ Deftone sounds good along with that crunch of the cereal bar. Celebrate Bobby's big gay b'day. Which one? A lady never tells. Sat., Jan. 11, 11am-3pm. 219 West, 612 W. Sixth. www.facebook.com/abcdeevents.
GLASS ELEVATOR SHOOTS INTO THE SKY GOODBYE PARTY 2 Come give 'em another hug. Saturday, 7-11:50pm outside: Little Radar, Young Girls, God's Gun, Royal Forest, Night Drive. 12mid-2am inside: Mouthfeel DJs. Sat., Jan. 11, 7pm. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth. www.facebook.com/cheerupcharlies.
DOMUERS BALL BOYMONROE and Talmage d'amour perform at this fetish-like-you-mean-it ball all to benefit Introspect House, LGBT safe space. Sat., Jan. 11, 8pm. Chain Drive, 504 Willow. www.facebook.com/theboymonroeproject.
SUNDAY CHURCH Althea Trix wants to get an AMEN. And some men. Burlesque, drag, and a Champagne train. PREACH! Sundays, 6-9pm. Castro's Warehouse, 213 W. Fourth. Free. www.facebook.com/castroswarehouse.
GLASS ELEVATOR SHOOTS INTO THE SKY GOODBYE PARTY 3 Come give 'em a third hug. Sunday, 7-10:30pm outside: Jess Williamson, Ruby Fray, Midnight Masses (members of Trail of Dead). 11pm-2am inside: Flying Turns DJ set. Sun., Jan. 12, 7pm. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth, 512/431-2133. www.facebook.com/cheerupcharlies.
AGLCC TOASTMASTERS Come buff up those public speaking and communication muscles. Second and fourth Mondays, 5:45pm. Ballet Austin, 501 W. Third, 512/476-9151. www.aglcc.org/toastmasters.
FREE & QUEER: 'BOUND' "What did she do to you?" "Everything you couldn't." Interesting. How many times has that conversation happened in Austin, we wonder? Hmmmm. Violet and Corky on the big wall/screen. Also: Butches. On a calendar. And Gretchen Phillips. Infectiously. Tue., Jan. 14, 8pm. The North Door, 502 Brushy. www.ndvenue.com.
GO-GO TUESDAYS Boys of ATX Go-Go booties and DJ Deftone offer another place to dance on that night of the week that's become a big gay staple. Tuesdays, 9pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth. Free. www.facebook.com/rainon4th.
NAKIA: BELMONT RESIDENCY All bear, all blues, all soul, all ours. Nakia takes over the Belmont's January Wednesday happy times with special guests Lex Land (Jan. 15), Emily Bell (Jan. 22), and Nightblooms/Karla Manzur (Jan. 29). Weds in Jan., 6pm. The Belmont, 305 W. Sixth. www.facebook.com/nakia.
QUEER RIDE Search QR on Facebook for up-to-date details on meeting spots and stops of this weekly ride. The first ride of 2014 promises a ride of epic yogic proportions. (It's probably ending at the Y-Townlake for yoga.) Wednesdays, 7pm. Long Center for the Performing Arts, 701 W. Riverside. Free.
DANGER 'N DOLLS XO, KURRAKÄ, and special guest DJ d_castle. Bang. Your. Head. (... and other parts.) Thu., Jan. 16, 10pm. Elysium, 705 Red River. $5.
NAKED YOGA FOR MEN Everyone has lots of questions about Naked Yoga, like, "What if I get a boner ...?" They have a FAQ for that. Check the website. Mondays, 7:30pm and Wednesdays, 8:30pm at Todd Pilates, 4032 S. Lamar #700; Saturdays, 10:30am at Cedar Events Center, 15803 Windermere, Pflugerville. 512/921-0791. $12. www.austinnakedyoga.com.