The Luv Doc: Sad Puppy

Luv Doc,
What do you do when your ex-girlfriend insists that she still loves you and still wants to be friends, but only in a platonic way? My ex claims that she still loves me even though she broke up with me and is now in another relationship. She wants to be able to hang out and do stuff like regular friends, but it’s hard for me because I still love her and want to be with her sexually. Am I just being childish? – Broken

You are not being childish, you are being human. Getting dumped by someone you love hurts … bad … like a sucker punch in the gut that leaves you gasping for air. It takes a while for that feeling to go away – sometime months, sometimes years, sometimes a lifetime. Ever listen to George Jones’ “He Stopped Loving Her Today"? Spoiler alert: He dies. That’s how he stops loving her. Point is, it’s hard to get over someone you really love, especially when they’re always coming around scratching on your screen door like a cat at dinnertime.

The good news, Broken, is that even if you’re absolute shit in bed, you’re at least loveable. That’s something to build on. Maybe with some intense ab work and a thorough reading of the Kama Sutra you might be the full package. Regardless, you clearly have some admirable qualities or your ex wouldn’t want to be around you. I would be willing to bet that there are other women who will recognize and appreciate these qualities as well. Some might even be way hotter than your ex and willing to work with you on your lackluster banging skills.

However, you are probably not going to meet other hotter women if you’re hanging out with your ex – even if you’re watching chick flicks, getting pedicures, or taking a Jazzercise class at Curves. Nobody wants to fuck a sad puppy. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal in most states anyway … even metaphorically.

My advice to you is to shake that bitch (just running with that Pulitzer-winning dog metaphor) off your leg – at least long enough to sort out your feelings for her. You may, in fact, find that you actually do have the basis for a true friendship with her, but you’re not going to know until you’re at a point where she can’t yank your chain. That might take a little time and separation, but you’ll thank yourself in the end.