Austin, you win a "Best of" for queeniest, queerest, dishiest, and dearest. MUAH.
MR. COOK'S STRIP-OFF It's a competitive, amateur taking-off of the clothes. Thursdays, 12mid. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth.
HAPPY HOUR WITH MS. WRIGHT The legendary Margaret Wright on the black & whites. Thursdays and Fridays, 6-8pm. The Skylark Lounge, 2039 Airport. Free.
PFLAG SOUTH MONTHLY MEETING Family is nice; allied family is love. PFLAG represents the best of our community. Second Thursdays, 6:30-9pm. Faith Presbyterian Church, 1314 E. Oltorf. Free.
PATRICE PIKE Take a hike, and see the Pike. Thursdays, 8-10pm. Saxon Pub, 1320 S. Lamar, 512/448-2552. www.facebook.com/PatricePikeBand.
FRIDAY THE 13TH AUSTRA AFTERPARTY Witchy coven realness spun and spun by DJs Glitoris and (Canadian) Austra. Fri., Sept. 13, 11:30pm-2:30am. Elysium, 705 Red River. $3-5.
FRIDAY NIGHT BEARS A-tisket, a-tasket, check out that bear basket. Fridays, 9pm-2am. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free. www.theironbear.com.
SING MUSE Rudy Ramirez's latest. Gurrrl. Thu.-Sat., Sept. 12-14, 8pm. The Vortex, 2307 Manor Rd. $10-30. www.vortexrep.org.
QUEERLYMPICS Austin shows support for the Russian LGBTQ community with our very own gay games, including: The Running of the Flamer, Oil Wrestling, Drag Marathon, Vodka Shot Balance, Strap-on Fencing, and Pin the Facial on Putin. Ursula and Erica Nix play Mitt Romney and Bob Costas, respectively. Sat., Sept. 14: torch run from City Hall, 4:30pm; games declared open, 5pm. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth. Free.
INVESTITURES FOR REIGN XX: MUUMUUPALOOZA Don the flowing frock to greet the new United Court crew. Guest performers from across Texas. Sat., Sept. 14: social hour and cookout, 6-7pm; show, 7-10pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth. www.unitedcourtofaustin.org.
DALLAS GAY PRIDE See how Texas' well-heeled high-heeled do it. Take a ride to our neighbor to the north. The Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parade goes across Cedar Springs Road from Wycliff Avenue to Lee Park, where the fest is held. Sun., Sept. 15, 2pm. Lee Park, Dallas. www.dallastavernguild.org.
FREE BURGERS Drink specials start at 2pm followed by free food at 4pm. Sundays, 4-6pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. Free. www.bouttime2.com.
T.E.N.T. SOCIAL More, more, more folks are invited to jump in under this tent of gender diversity. Enjoy bevs, food, and conversations of the open-hearted variety. Sun., Sept. 15, 4-7pm. Spider House Patio Bar & Cafe, 2908 Fruth. Free. www.transtexas.org.
JAPANESE ROPE BONDAGE A lesson session with rope master, Sir Giotto of DeGiotto Rope. Sun., Sept. 15, 6-8pm. Q Toys, 6800 Burnet, 512/772-1614. Free.
BOUT TIME HAPPY HOUR That's seven happy hours if you're nasty ... Mondays, 2-9pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. www.bouttime2.com.
I LOVE DICK Dick Nickson, of course. Who doesn't? Tuesdays, 10pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth.
LISTEN TO OUTCAST! KOOP = queer, yo! Tuesdays, 6-7pm. KOOP Radio 91.7FM. www.outcastaustin.com.
CODA Codependent, gay, bi men meet. Tuesdays, 7pm. Trinity United Methodist Church, 4001 Speedway, 512/577-3454. By donation. www.codatexas.org.
FREE & QUEER CINEMA PRESENTS: "BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER" One of the least painful send-ups of conversion therapy and ourselves in the body of an adorable cheermeister. Tue., Sept. 17, 7pm. The North Door, 502 Brushy. Free. www.thenorthdoor.com.
QUEER RIDE Search Team ProHomo on Facebook for up-to-date details on meeting spots and stops of this weekly ride. Wednesdays, 7pm. Texas State Capitol, 1100 Congress. Free. www.facebook.com/AustinTPH.
STOP & GO: 3-D SHORT ANIMATIONS Spotlighting the work of SF artist Sarah Klein screening for one night only. Wed., Sept. 18, 7-8:30pm. Women & Their Work, 1710 Lavaca, 512/477-1064. Free.
ESOTERIC Not your typical gay bar beats. Each week explores alt-labels like Sub Pop, Touch & Go, etc. Wednesdays, 8pm-12mid. Chain Drive, 504 Willow.
BEDFEST A celebration of all things sexy, including the third anniversary of BedPost Confessions. Thursday is a torrent of smart, sexy stories; Friday is a glimpses into 2013's Polari fest and a peek at the best of Cinekink; Saturday is poetry night. Thu.-Sat., Sept. 19-21, 8pm. $10 per show; $25, advance. www.bedpostconfessions.com.
IT GETS BETTER: THE STORIES, THE SONGS Los Angeles' Speak Theater Arts, the Gay Men's Chorus of LA, and the It Gets Better Project spend a week in ATX prepping this show with local groups. Sounds great and can only be better. Fri., Sept. 20, 8pm. The Long Center, 701 W. Riverside Dr. $10. www.thelongcenter.org/event/it-gets-better.
POLARI FESTIVAL LAUNCH & FESTIVAL AGLIFF, rebranded last year under the moniker of the word for dishy faggoty British slang, is ramping up for 2013. Save the date for both the launch party at CUC and the fest, a month later. "Don't just sit there," they say and then give us every reason to sit there, rapt. Launch: Sat., Sept. 21, 7pm; festival: Oct. 16-20. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth. Free. www.polarifest.com.
Copyright © 2013 Austin Chronicle Corporation. All rights reserved.