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Gay Place: Howdy, Sailor

Gayest. South by. Ever.

By Kate X Messer, Fri., March 15, 2013

You missed Crystal Arc? Well, don't miss anything else!
You missed Crystal Arc? Well, don't miss anything else!
Photo by Devaki Knowles

You in town for a Conference? Yup. We are, too. Dang, there's so much gay up in this shizz: Check our website (austinchronicle.com/gay), because this ain't half of it, and find our special SXSW edition of the gAyTX Events Guide; it's all over town. It's pink. It has a unicorn on it. Thanks for giving us a reason to share all this big, warm, friendly, inclusive, accepting, ballz-out gay-as-tomatoes list of fabulous queerness.

ON OUR GAYDAR

LGBT WORKPLACE PROTECTION CALL TO ACTION Wouldn't you love to take a stroll around the Capitol in the middle of this delicious spring, in the middle of a throng of delicious queers all holding signs like, "STOP WORKPLACE DISCRIMINATION - PASS SB 237 NOW"? Thu., March 14. Texas State Capitol, 1100 Congress, 305-8400. www.facebook.com/GetEQUAL.TX/events.

OUTLANDER FEST Free free free LGBT. Wed.-Sat., March 13-16. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth, 320-8823.

MR. ANGEL The story of transman Buck. Mr. Angel, if you're nasty. Thu., March 14, 11am. Zach's Topfer Theatre, 202 S. Lamar.

I AM DIVINE The story of Glenn Milstead, the man behind the cha-cha heels. Thu., March 14, 11:15am. Alamo Drafthouse Slaughter, 5701 W. Slaughter Ln.

HOT TROPICS Surefire and Deep Inside present a veritable ringworm of jungle rot featuring Sepalcure, Kastle, MikeQ, and more. Thu., March 14, 12-7pm. Chain Drive, 504 Willow, 480-9017. www.surefireagency.com, www.facebook.com/deepinsideatx.

PIT STOP Two gay men in a Texas town on paths that may just come together. March 11, March 14, 9:45pm. Stateside at the Paramount, 719 Congress, 472-5470. SXSW film badges/tickets.

IN YOUR DREAMS – STEVIE NICKS It's the white witch on the big screen. Wouldn't you love to love her? Thu., March 14, 2pm. Paramount Theatre, 713 Congress, 472-5470. www.inyourdreamsmovie.com.

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT PJ Raval's latest follows the path of retired gays. Sun., March 10, 1:30pm; Wed., March 13, 6:15pm; Thu., March 14, 3:45pm. Violet Crown Cinema, 434 W. Second, 495-9600. SXSW film badges/tickets.

BAYOU MAHARAJAH: THE TRAGIC GENIUS OF JAMES BOOKER "... the best black, gay, one-eyed junkie piano genius New Orleans has ever produced," says Dr. John. Thu., March 14, 4pm. Zach Theatre, 1510 Toomey, 476-0541. SXSW film badges/tickets.

STEVIE NICKS INTERVIEW See Ann Powers talk to Tee Dee about her wild, wild heart. Thu., March 14, 5-6pm. Austin Convention Center, 500 E. Cesar Chavez, 404-4000. www.nicksfix.com.

BENT COMPASS PARTY Open to the public. LGBT artists. Wed.-Thu., March 13-14, 7pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth, 494-1150. Free. www.facebook.com/bentcompass.

DIAMOND RINGS Babyfaced junior starman crooner is back. Thu., March 14, 7:15pm. Austin Music Hall, 208 Nueces, 263-4146. SXSW badges/wristbands.

QUEER YOGA AUSTIN (NÉE QUEERDALINI) For those who'd prefer to focus on chi rather than he or she. Queerdalini, Mondays, 7:30pm; Hatha, Thursdays. 7:30pm. Soma Vida, 1210 Rosewood, 628-1580. $5+ donation. queerdalini@gmail.com.

PATRICE PIKE Austin's seventh sister turns it out for South by. Thu., March 14, 8-9pm. Saxon Pub, 1320 S. Lamar, 448-2552.

BLEEDING RAINBOW Kathleen Hanna likes 'em; so do we. Thu., March 14, 12mid. Valhalla, 710 Red River, 476-0997.

LAS ROBERTAS Crits hail these Costa Rican noisepoppers as Breeders/Elastica era redux. We say dig deeper: Shop Assistants, Jesus and Mary Chain, MBV, VU, etc. Thu., March 14, 12mid. B.D. Riley's Irish Pub, 204 E. Sixth, 494-1335.

MELISSA FERRICK Singer-songer previews her new 'Truth Is.' Thu., March 14, 12mid. The Palm Door, 401 Sabine, 391-1994. SXSW badges/wristbands.

TEGAN & SARA Our inimitable twinsies are wearing their new record Heartthrob on their sleeves. Thu., March 14, 12:15am. Austin Music Hall, 208 Nueces, 263-4146. SXSW badges/wristbands.

KWUEEN SHADEZ Abdu Ali, Ben Aqua, Morgan Robyn Collado, and more at your favorite thrift score thrift store. Fri., March 15, 11am. Treasure City Thrift, 2142 E. Seventh, 524-2820.

BAYOU MAHARAJAH: THE TRAGIC GENIUS OF JAMES BOOKER "... the best black, gay, one-eyed junkie piano genius New Orleans has ever produced," says Dr. John. Fri., March 15, 7pm. Alamo Drafthouse at the Ritz, 320 E. Sixth, 476-1320. SXSW film badges/tickets.

DIAMOND RINGS The babyfaced junior starman crooner is back. Fri., March 15, 8pm. VEVOtv Control Room, 304 W Fourth. SXSW badges/wristbands.

VOCKAH REDU Vockah and his Cru bounce for you. Fri., March 15, 8pm. Volstead Lounge, 1500 E. Sixth, 680-0532. SXSW badges/wristbands.

FITZ & THE TANTRUMS Modern soul moshers blow it up. Fri., March 15, 9:55pm. Austin Music Hall, 208 Nueces, 263-4146. SXSW badges/wristbands.

CHRISTEENE LIVE Your favorite nasty girl, C Baby, T Gravel and DJ JJ Booya spank it at the Bear. 21+. Fri., March 15, 12-12:40am. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. SXSW badges/wristbands.

CONTINENTAL Malcolm Ingram's take on the heyday of NYC's Continental Baths. Sat., March 16, 11am. Zach's Topfer Theatre, 202 S. Lamar. SXSW film badges/tickets.

GBFF To what lengths would you go to get your own Gay Best Friend Forever? Sat., March 16, 11am. Vimeo Theater at Austin Convention Center, Austin Convention Center. SXSW film badges/tickets.

CQ RECORDS SHOWCASE The French Inhales, Manateees (Memphis). Burgers, dogs, BBQ, and BYOB. Sat., March 16, noon. 2208 E. 18th. Free.

NAKIA Austin's fave bear has got the Voice! Sat., March 16, noon. Austin Convention Center, 500 E. Cesar Chavez. Sat., March 16, 1am. Bar 96, 96 Rainey, 433-6604. SXSW badges/wristbands.

THE PARTY THAT FELL TO EARTH Dana Falconberry, Brass Bed, Social Studies, and more highlight this afternoon "tea" (aka booze and food) at our house of wig, etc. Sat., March 16, 11:30am-9pm. Maison d'Etoile, 2109 E. Cesar Chavez, 344-9173. Free.

UGLY FEST Foot Patrol, Bumping Uglies, MC Sweet Tea, Jad Fair, and more at the leather bar. Sat., March 16, 2:30pm-2am. Chain Drive, 504 Willow, 480-9017.

NOLA BOUNCE: KATEY RED Plus Cheeky Blakk, first bounce white boy rapper Culotta Rock, Diamond Dolls, and more. Sat., March 16, 7pm-2am. The 512 Bar, 408 E. Sixth, 228-6097. SXSW badges/wristbands.

SX NORTH LAMAR A celebration of the power of women at Austin's must-visit feminist bookstore. Sat., March 16, 7pm. BookWoman, 5501 N. Lamar Ste. 105-A, 472-2785. Free. www.ebookwoman.com.

Y'ALL OR NOTHIN': QUEER AS SHIT SHOWCASE Fist-Ting, Total Unicorn, Mom Jeans, Blunt Der Hol, and a bunch of names we can't mention brought to you by our pals at Mouthfeel ATX, S.I.R, Alien She, and Q Toys. Sat., March 16, 7pm-2am. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth, 431-2133.

THE RAWK SHOW Cherie Lily, Oaktown 3-5-7s, Althea Trix, Double Duchess, Yo Majesty, Dena, Diamond Rings, and more Sat., March 16, 8pm. Spider House Ballroom, 2906 Fruth.

CHRISTEENE'S 'BIG SHOT' VIDEO Austin's adorable gutter slut premiere's her new PJ Raval-directed jam. March 11, March 16, 11:30am. Rollins Studio Theatre at the Long Center, 701 W. Riverside, 474-LONG. SXSW film badges/tickets.

SUNDAY SOFTBALL Fields 6-11 come alive with the colors of the rainbow and bat more than eyelashes. Sundays, 9am-3pm. Krieg Field, 517 S. Pleasant Valley Rd. www.softballaustin.org.

GAYBIGAYGAY 2013 The beloved queer tape across the SXSW finishline – Austin's faggoty Woodstock, Bumbershoot, Burning Man, Mardi Gras, Disney World, Dollywood, Folsom Street, the Vatican, and oh, SXSW rolled into one is on. Expect amazing indie queers, booty bounce, dance jams, picnic blankets, makeout parties, and unicorns prancing across spring meadows. Oh, and inflatable architecture! All day; all gay! All yay! Sun., March 17, noon-12mid. Springdale & Rogge (the 2011 location). Free and open to the public. All ages.

FREE BURGERS Drink specials at noon. Free food later. Sundays, 4-6pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. Free. www.bouttime2.com.

$5 WORKOUT WITH ERICA NIX! Our own trixter vixen (and friend of Richard Simmons) is gonna make you sweat. And then she'll make you work out. Mondays, 7-8pm. Galaxy Dance Studios, 1700 S. Lamar #338, 442-5299. $5. www.galaxydances.org.

OTEP: SEDUCE & DESTROY Intense mega metal deth metal lady metal ... with metal. Supporting new album and touring just one day shy of the melee. That either makes them very very late or very very smart. Mon., March 18. Dirty Dog Bar, 505 E. Sixth, 236-9800. www.victoryrecords.com/otep.

LEZRIDE! Bike with the butchie babes and betties every Tuesday. Contact for route info. Tuesdays, 7pm. Q Austin, 3408 West Ave., 845/642-7069. Free. mundemir@gmail.com, lezrideatx.tumblr.com.

QUEER RIDE Search Team ProHomo on Facebook for up-to-date details on meeting spots and stops. Wednesdays, 7pm. Free. www.facebook.com/AustinTPH.

Ho-rizon

SEX TOY RECYCLING Every closet purge, you run into it – that slab of silicone or whatever, the one that reminds you of ... you know who. What the hell do you do with an old dong? Or buzzing egg? Or Fleshlight? Why, you recycle it, of course. Read the requirements and participate in Q Toys program, and get a $5 certificate for your trouble ... and a less stressful closet. Q Toys, 772-1614. info@qtoysaustin.com, www.qtoysaustin.com.

The Gay Place loves you; keep those cards and letters comin’.

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