Gay Place: Welcome to the GAYTX

Between the official South by Southwest programming and the bootleggy offshoots presented by just about every L, G, B, T, Q, I, and A concern out there, we keep having to adjust our annual dip into the chaw tin of effusive hyperbole: This, laydeez and gentlequeers has to be the Gayest SXSW Ever. Here is part one. Next week, we go gayer and deeper daily, so stay tuned!

On Our Gaydar

QUEER YOGA AUSTIN For those who'd prefer to focus on chi rather than he or she. Mondays and Thursdays, 7:30pm. Soma Vida, 1210 Rosewood, 628-1580. $5+ donation. queerdalini@gmail.com.

2013 TEXAS FILM HALL OF FAME AFTER PARTY The pomp, the glam, the pageantry – and that's just when Stephen Moser walks in. While the Austin Film Awards and Afterparties are not ... errr, em, gay, per se, there is serious/silly aesthetic afoot, and we'd be remiss if we did not recommend highly. It's a Celeste Quesada and Coco Coquette gig. Need we say more? Thu., March 7, 9pm-12mid. Austin Studios, 1901 E. 51st, 322-0145. $30 each, $50 pair. www.austinfilm.org/afterparty.

SPICE UP YOUR LIFE If you wannabe our ... you know, you gotta show for this Spice World screening and middle school dance party with DJ S.I.R., where you can tell us what you want, what you really, really ... oh, just stop. Thu., March 7, 10pm-2am. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth. www.sirwithlove.tumblr.com.

#BIGGAY KICKOFF PARTY The official first place you can pick up the 2013 gAyTX SXSW Fun Guide produced by the AGLCC and yours truly. The Tipsy Texan, David Allen, has concocted a special floofy BG libation and ... (sound of crumpling paper) a crafty, intricate treat known only as "The Maddow." Fri., March 8, 6-10pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth, 320-8823. RSVP for free drinks and VIG badge. www.oilcanharrys.com, www.facebook.com/aglcc/events.

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY Lyrical lovelies Faylita Hicks, Cindy Huyser, ire'ne lara silva, Jessica Ochoa Zimarripa, Allyson Whipple, and Liza Wolff-Francis, offer poetry and a brief open mic. Fri., March 8, 7-8:45pm. BookWoman, 5501 N. Lamar Ste. 105-A, 472-2785. Free. www.ebookwoman.com.

SEX BY SOUTHWEST UK electronica DJs. Sat., March 9, 2-9pm. Lanai, 422 Congress, 479-6600. $15.

POLARI BRUNCH Complimentary brunch and cocktails and elbow-rubbin', schmoozin', you know the drill. Sat., March 9, 11am-1pm. Austin School of Film, 1634 E. Cesar Chavez. SXSW badge holders and Polari RSVP list. sxsw@polarifest.com, www.polarifest.com.

OUTLANDER SCREENINGS The film and webseries part of the LGBT music fest. Come check out One More Lesbian. Sat., March 9, 3-10pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth, 320-8823. Free, open to the public. www.onemorelesbian.com, www.tellofilms.com.

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT PJ Raval's latest follows the path of retired gays. Sat., March 9, 4pm. Stateside at the Paramount, 719 Congress, 472-5470.

SXSW LGBTECH: Equality in Tech and Where We're Going. Sat., March 9, 3:30-4:30pm. Hyatt Regency Austin, 208 Barton Springs Rd., 477-1234. Badges only. schedule.sxsw.com/2013/events/event_IAP1603.

SXSW LGBTQ MEET-UP For the badged and quixotically queer. Yes, our own meet-up, darlings. And Yours Truly, Kate X, is the host. Last year, we got rained out and had to move to a hotel. This year, there is climate protection, and we are right in between two bars. Plus our meet-up directly follows the Tech Superwomen Meet-up in the same location and the LGBTech session across the river at the Hyatt. Whoot! Fret not, dear nonbadgers, there are after mingles. Sat., March 9, 5-6pm. Empire, 422 E. Sixth. Free to badge holders only. gayplace@austinchronicle.com, austinchronicle.com/gay.

BEFIXT 2013 A lovely deconstruction/performance/installation by ia. Sat., March 9, 4pm-2am, Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth, 431-2133.

PARTY WITH MISTER Demos and free giveaways of the new "where the gays at?" app, Mister. Sat., March 9, 10pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth, 320-8823. Free.

BODIES IN THE BASEMENT No need to call Nancy Grace, this is just a Sunday drag show. (Is there a queen who does a good Nancy Grace ...? hmmm ...). Sundays, 10:30 & 11:30pm. Basement, 422 Congress. www.facebook.com/BasementAustin.

SUNDAY SOFTBALL Fields 6-11 come alive with the colors of the rainbow. Players of all levels (maybe even you) compete and bat more than eyelashes. Sundays, 9am-3pm. Krieg Field, 517 S. Pleasant Valley Rd. www.softballaustin.org.

SXSW: A CONVERSATION WITH MSNBC'S RACHEL MADDOW The king of all lesbian broadcaster policy-wonk Rhodes scholars comes to town to promote the paperback version of her book, Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power, and SX's got her. Sometimes, life is just dandy. Sun., March 10 12:30pm. Austin Convention Center, Exhibit Hall 5.

AFTER-INNINGS Join Softball Austin for a post-game social to unwind, mingle, and "check out" the competition. Sun., March 10, 2pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35.

FREE BURGERS Drink specials start at noon. Free food in the afternoon. Sundays, 4-6pm. Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35. Free. www.bouttime2.com.

TEXAS MARCH FOR LGBT JUSTICE Volunteers needed for this day-before Lobby Day strut to the Capitol. Sun., March 10, 5:30-8:30pm. Austin City Hall, 301 W. Second, 974-2220. Free. www.equalitytexas.org.

THE PUNK SINGER: WORLD PREMIERE Sister Spitter Sini Anderson's doc on the riotous Kathleen Hanna. Sun., March 10, 10pm; Wed., March 13, 7pm. Stateside at the Paramount, 719 Congress, 472-5470. SXSW badges or $13 preorder. www.austintheatre.org.

EQUALITY TEXAS LOBBY DAY MARCH Meet face-to-face with the ones who govern our lives. Breakfast and lunch provided. Pre-registration required. Mon., March 11, 8:30am-4pm. First United Methodist, 1201 Lavaca, 478-5684. Free. facebook.com/EqualityTexas.

AGLCC TOASTMASTERS CONTEST Tongues will wag at this public speaking throwdown. Mon., March 11, 6-8pm. Terrazas Branch Library, 1105 E. Cesar Chavez, 472-7312. Free. www.aglcc.org.

LOG CABIN REPUBLICANS HAPPY HOUR The Logs jam with Equality Texas to celebrate their collaboration post-Lobby Day. Price includes comp drink ticket. Mon., March 11, 6:30pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth. $10. president@logcabinaustin.us, www.logcabinaustin.us.

OUTLANDER KICKOFF Featuring Tje Austin, F.O.X, Patrice Pike Band, Jen Foster, Grrlz Will Be Boiz, the Awkward Robot, Ghost Town Jenny, Lisa Marshall, One Resistance, Julie Nolen and Telling Stories, Kari Kuwamura, Laura Forster, Shotgun Betties, and Fort View. Tue., March 12, 4pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh, 482-9002. $15, $8 advance; VIP $40, $25 advance. outlander.ticketbud.com.

LISTEN TO OUTCAST! Tweak your knobs to 91.7FM: It's OutCast with Stephen Rice and pals. KOOP = queer, yo! Tuesdays, 6-7pm. KOOP Radio 91.7FM. www.koop.org, www.outcastaustin.com.

LEZRIDE! Bike with the butchie babes and betties every Tuesday. Contact for route info. Tuesdays, 7pm. Q Austin, 3408 West Ave., 845/642-7069. Free. mundemir@gmail.com, lezrideatx.tumblr.com.

THE GLITORIS' SPECIAL SXSW TUEZGAYZ The "Best of Austin"-winning Tuezgayz pumps out a special edition of their weekly polysex/no attitude dance prance, plus after-hours drag show set to SXSW showcasers' tunage. An Austin tradition, á la our beloved Glitoris. Tue., March 12, 9pm-2:45am. Barbarella, 615 Red River. Free before midnight. www.facebook.com/tuezgayz.

OUTLANDER FEST Free free free LGBT. Wed.-Sat., March 13-16. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth, 320-8823. Free.

LGBT WORKPLACE PRO­TECTION CALL TO ACTION Who wouldn't love to take a stroll around the Capitol in the middle of this delicious spring, in the middle of a throng of delicious queers all holding signs that say things like, "STOP WORKPLACE DISCRIMINATION – PASS SB 237 NOW"? Thu., March 14, Texas State Capitol, 1100 Congress. www.facebook.com/GetEqual/events.

QUEER RIDE: YOGA Yogify on the Long's City Terrace and ride, uniponies, ride! See Team Prohomo's FB page for details. Wed., March 13, 7pm. Long Center for the Performing Arts, 701 W. Riverside, 457-5100. Free. www.facebook.com/AustinTPH.

THE BENT COMPASS PARTY Open to the public. 18 to enter, 21 to drink. LBGT artists showcased. Wed.-Thu., March 13-14, 7pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth, 494-1150. Free. www.facebook.com/bentcompass.

HOT TROPICS Surefire and Deep Inside present a veritable ringworm of jungle rot (they know about our holy, glorious Chain Drive, apparently) featuring Sepalcure, Kastle, MikeQ, and more. Thu., March 14, 12-7pm. Chain Drive, 504 Willow, 480-9017. www.surefireagency.com, www.facebook.com/deepinsideatx.

SXSW PATRICE PIKE Austin's seventh sister turns it out for South by. Yup, her regular night at the Saxon is her showcase. Thu., March 14, 8-9pm. Saxon Pub, 1320 S. Lamar, 448-2552. Free. www.facebook.com/PatricePikeBand/events.

HO-RIZON

GAYBIGAYGAY IS BACK ON, BABIES The beloved queer tape across the SXSW finish line is on. Last year's was reported to be the last. It was not. What the hell is GBGG, you ask, dear, sweet uninitiated? Why, it's only Austin's faggoty Woodstock, Southern Decadence, Burning Man, Mardi Gras, Disney World, Dollywood, Folsom Street, the Vatican, and oh, SXSW rolled into one. Keep your eyes on the Gay Place for lineup, but you may expect amazing indie queers, booty bounce, dance jams, picnic blankets, makeout parties, and unicorns prancing across spring meadows. All day; all gay! Sun., March 17, noon-12mid. Springdale & Rogge (the 2011 location). Free and open to the public. All ages.

SEX TOY RECYCLING Every closet purge, you run into it – that slab of silicone or whatever, the one that reminds you of ... you know who. What the hell do you do with an old dong? Or buzzing egg? Or Fleshlight? Why, you recycle it, of course. Read the requirements to participate in Q Toys recycling program, and get a $5 certificate for your trouble ... and for a less stressful closet. Starts March 1. Q Toys, 772-1614. info@qtoysaustin.com, www.qtoysaustin.com.

SOUTH BY SO GAY Austin's big party is on and we want to gay it up with you. Send us any and all info about LGBTQ events you are hosting over the course of the three conferences. We will make sure your people are in the know. March 8-17. gayplace@austinchronicle.com, austinchronicle.com/gay.

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Send gay bits to gayplace@austinchronicle.com. See the full array of Gay Place listings at austinchronicle.com/gay.