Gay Place: Ode To An -Oke

Lizzy Carol

What had become a Hump Day tradition for crusty queers and crooners alike, Lizzy Caroloke is now past tense. Lizzy Carol was our tune-belting hostess whose effervescent Grace Slicks and Meat ­Loafs shall be sorely missed. Host bar Bernadette's is also not long for this Earth (her last night is Friday). Both of these cataclysms make us very sad, but we're sure that some fine gay-ish/queer-ish thing will rise to take their place, as is the Austin way. Meh. Let's not kid ourselves; there will never be another Lizzy Caroloke ... nor another Bernadette's. Long live Lizzy Caroloke. Love live Bernadette's.

ON OUR GAYDAR

AGLCC AWARDS & HOLIDAY PARTY It's the AGLCC's first ever awards ceremony and holiday jam with your humble vinyl spinners DJs Fine & Dandy with Kate & Andy (hey, we know them!). Thu., Dec. 20, 5:45-9pm. Sheraton Austin at the Capitol, 701 E. 11th. $35 for members, $50 for future members. www.facebook.com/aglcc/events.

QUEERDALINI YOGA Yup. It's Kundalini in a safe environment, for those who'd prefer to focus on chi rather than he or she. Thursdays, 7-8:15pm. Soma Vida, 1210 Rose­wood. Donations encouraged. queerdalini@gmail.com.

DECEMBER BEDPOST CONFESSIONS One free Drambuie cocktail to the first 20 people in the door. Thu., Dec. 20, 8-10:30pm. ND at 501 Studios, 501 N. I-35. $10. www.ndvenue.com.

MARGARET WRIGHT LIVE Spend some time with a real legend. Come see why the gays love cabaret jazz mama Margaret! Fri., Dec. 21, 7-9pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh. Free. www.rustysaustin.com.

MAYAN APOCOLYPSE The Bumping Uglies, our darling MC Sweet Tea, and Shardz ring it in or out, depending on whether or not those Mayans had their shit together. Fri., Dec. 21, 7pm. Cherrywood Coffeehouse, 1400 E. 38½, 538-1991.

THe very last Night at BErnadette's Ever WTF are we going to do? OK, we promised ourselves that we would not wallow in holiday sadness and loss. Tonight is the night to dance balls out and to snap those bras on the ceiling one last time. Oh, Bernie, you gave it such a good run. Thank you, E. Fri, Dec. 21, 8pm-12mid. Bernadette's, 2039 Airport. Free.

BODIES IN THE BASEMENT No need to call Nancy Grace, this is just a Sunday drag show. (Is there a queen who does a good Nancy Grace ...? Hmmm ...). Sundays, 10:30 & 11:30pm. Basement, 422 Congress. www.facebook.com/BasementAustin.

DJ PROTEGE'S FIRST AID Heal what ails ya and shake before serving. Sundays, 5-10pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth. Free. www.rainon4th.com.

PROPOSE A TOAST(MASTER) Our local gay chamber of commerce is home to one of the country's fastest growing LGBT Toastmaster groups. Second and fourth Mondays, 6pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh, 482-9002. www.aglcc.org/toastmasters.

TUEZGAYZ Still the fruit's number one place to hoof it Tuesday night. Tuesdays, 10pm. Barbarella, 615 Red River. www.barbarellaaustin.com, www.theglitoris.tumblr.com.

LISTEN TO OUTCAST Tweak your knobs to 91.7FM: It's OutCast with Stephen Rice and dorcas. Listen as they welcome and grill guests from every band of the rainbow. KOOP = queer, yo! Tuesdays, 6-7pm. KOOP Radio 91.7FM. www.koop.org, www.outcastaustin.com.

BOOKWOMAN BOOK GROUP This month: State of Wonder by Ann Patchett. Fourth Tuesdays, 7pm. 5501 N. Lamar. Free. www.ebookwoman.com.

LEZRIDE! Bike with the butchie babes and betties every Tuesday. Contact for route info. Tuesdays, 7pm. Q Austin, 3408 West Ave. Free. www.lezrideatx.tumblr.com.

TASTY TUEDAYS LGBT night at Lincoln Village's tasti­est spot, with Lauren YellaStud and SDot SwaggaRipe, Gina DJgiiq Laughland, and bartender Alexis Wilder. Tuesdays, 9pm. MoJoe Room Bar & Grill, 6406 N. I-35. Free. www.yellastud.com, www.mojoeroom.com.

OCCUPY AUSTIN OCCUQUEERS Take up your rightful place in the political pantheon. Every other Wednesday, 5-6:30pm. The Q, 3408 West, 420-8557.

QUEER RIDE Search Team ProHomo on Facebook for up-to-date details on meeting spots and stops of this weekly ride. Wednesdays, 7pm. Texas State Capitol, 1100 Congress. Free. www.facebook.com/AustinTPH.

KARAOKE WITH KENNY Goes 'til close. Wednesdays, 9:30pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free.

SHITTY KITTY BIG BALL BINGO Ms. Rebecca Havemeyer scares the shit out of us. Boo. Drink cheap, win big. Last Wednesdays of the month, 9:30pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth.

HOOK'D Dee Jay Munk-in-the-Mix spins this urban LGBT night in the Highland/Lincoln area. Thursdays, 10pm. Club Ambitious, 6700 Middle Fiskville. Free before 11pm. chay@soe-ent.com, www.soe-ent.com.

HO-RIZON

A NIGHT IN OLD AUSTIN Machete Western and the Dames of Deception ring it in for you! Mon., Dec. 31, 9pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh. Free. www.rustysaustin.com.

A*FAB AND ASA NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY The Susan Arbuckle Band, special musical performer Tje Austin, and host Rich Segal headline this schmancy evening of doing good and having a blast with friends and fam all at the same time. Ring in the new year with the requisite champagne toast, and welcome 2013 with a yummy midnight breakfast buffet. Mon, Dec. 31. Hyatt Regency Austin, 208 Barton Springs Rd., 477-1234. $125 and up. www.afabaustin.com.

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