Check out our "chosen family" holiday traditions – some old and some brand spankin' new. Spankin'! Merry Tofur- and Turkey, y'all.
THANKSGIVING BUFFET It's a long-standing tradition: holiday dinner at the gay bar. And thanks to OCH, the spread shall be spread. Thu., Nov. 22, 3-6pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth. www.oilcanharrys.com.
PATRICE PIKE We shall resist the urge to urge you to gobble up a side of Patrice and simply state that she and her band are playing the Saxon this night, y'all. Go get all tryptophan-y. Thu., Nov. 22, 8pm. Saxon Pub, 1320 S. Lamar. www.patricepike.com.
SMEAR THE QUEER Reclaim your own personal queen of the mountain, babies, along with Team ProHomo on this most anti-of Black Friday activities: getting physical and getting down. Fri., Nov. 23, 2-4pm. Yellow Jacket Stadium, 900 Neal. www.facebook.com/AustinTPH/events.
SISTER 7 Well, Patrice is just all over your chops for the holidays, now, isn't she? Adrian & the Sickness make it all better. Fri., Nov. 23, 9pm. One 2 One Bar, 1509 S. Lamar. www.patricepike.com.
FRIDAY NIGHT BEARS A-tisket, a-tasket, check out that bear basket. Big burly gear night with cheap quaff. Fridays, 9pm-2am. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free. www.theironbear.com.
SORNE AND MORE(NAY) We are the last ones to comment on some entity's sexuality, cuz you know in our book, it's all good, baby, but Sorne, the band, is the gayest thing on six legs we think we've ever seen, and that is our highest compliment. Molybden, Phil Elvrum, and Salesmen fill it all out. Sat., Nov. 24, 8pm. Scottish Rite, 207 W. 18th. $10. www.sorne.com.
BODIES IN THE BASEMENT No need to call Nancy Grace; this is just a Sunday drag show. Sundays, 10:30 & 11:30pm. Basement, 422 Congress.
SUPER-SIZED SUNDAY DJ Waide in the dance hall and barbecue on the patio early (4pm), live music (5pm), and trivia with Rob (6pm). Sundays, 2pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh. www.rustysaustin.com.
DJ PROTEGE'S FIRST AID Heal what ails ya and shake before serving. Sundays, Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth. Free. www.rainon4th.com.
STANLEY ROY'S OPEN MIC AND SHOW & TELL See what all the "Best of Austin" "Best Indescribable Rakish Crooner" is all about – and bring your A-game to show – then tell, or just sit back and get told. Sun., Nov. 25, 7pm. Cheer Up Charlie's, 1104 E. Sixth.
TUEZGAYZ Still the fruit's number one place to hoof it Tuesday night. Tuesdays, 10pm. Barbarella, 615 Red River. www.theglitoris.tumblr.com.
BOXERS, BRIEFS, AND EVERYTHING IN-BETWEEN Wouldn't you love to be what's in between? Tue., Nov. 27, 6-8pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth.
GSC BOOK CLUB – HUNGER GAMES: 'CATCHING FIRE' Katniss as hero: Discuss! Tue., Nov. 27, 6pm. UT Gender and Sexuality Center, Student Activity Center, 2201 Speedway, SAC 2.112, UT campus, 232-1831. Free.
BOOKWOMAN BOOK GROUP This month: State of Wonder by Ann Patchett. Fourth Tuesdays, 7pm. BookWoman, 5501 N. Lamar. Free. www.ebookwoman.com.
FREE AND QUEER: 'SOME LIKE IT HOT' Thank Beth for these free movies to queer up our week. (Tony Curtis in a dress: swooooon.) Tue., Nov. 27, 7-11pm. ND at 501 Studios, 501 N. I-35. Free.
GET REAL, STAY QUEER Wild women rolling up from the Tuesday LezRide, et al. Every other Tuesday. Bernadette's, 2039 Airport. Donations for whatever cause is announced weekly, cash only; 21+.
LIZZY CAROLOKE The most high-tech thing at Bern's this side of the right-side toilet in the bigger bathroom. Wednesdays, 9pm-12mid. Bernadette's, 2039 Airport. Free.
ELECTRIC/INDIEPOP NIGHT Go underneath to feel the tunes that go pop. Wednesdays, 9pm. Basement, 422 Congress. www.facebook.com/BasementAustin.
TEXAS GOT TALENT Second installment of this terrific talent show raises funds for GetEQUAL TX. Wednesday, Nov. 28. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh. $5. firstname.lastname@example.org.
QUEER RIDE Search Team ProHomo on Facebook for up-to-date details on meeting spots for this weekly ride. Wednesdays, 7pm. Texas State Capitol. Free. www.facebook.com/AustinTPH.
ROLLERGIRLS DRAFT PARTY Hmmmm. We'll take that one and that one and that one. Strap on your quads and see who makes the first cut. Wed., Nov. 28, 7:30-10pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh. www.texasrollergirls.org.
KARAOKE WITH KENNY Goes 'til close. Wednesdays, 9:30pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free.
SHITTY KITTY BIG BALL BINGO Ms. Rebecca Havemeyer ain't no turkey. What you talkin' 'bout? Drink cheap, win big. Last Wednesdays of the month, 9:30pm. Rain on 4th, 217 W. Fourth.
FACE AIDS BENEFIT Inna Eighties stylie. Thu., Nov. 29, 8pm-1:30am. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh.
POKER NIGHT by Wild West Casino Games. Thu., Nov. 29, 8-11:30pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh.
'BOUT TIME II IS OPEN The luvvies behind the original Charlie's and 'Bout Time turn the page on a new chapter. We'll get some Gay Placers out there soon for a real report. 'Bout Time II, 6607 N. I-35.
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