So much going on we can't keep it all straight. Wommmp-wommm.
AGLCC HAPPY HOUR Clink and mingle with members of Austin's gay chamber. Third Thursdays, 5:30-7:30pm. Austin Custom Winery, 7010 Hwy 71 W. #300, 394-0600. Free. www.aglcc.org.
LGBT BAR HAPPY HOUR Meet the bar at the bar (and potentially raise your dating bar). Thu., Oct. 18, 5:30-7:30pm. Manuel's, 310 Congress, 472-7555. www.austinlgbtbar.com.
QUEERDALINI YOGA Kundalini in a safe environment. Thursdays, 7-8:15pm. Soma Vida, 1210 Rosewood, 628-1580. Donations encouraged. firstname.lastname@example.org.
STEAK NIGHT at a gay bar? Why, that's as American as baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet. Thursdays, 6-8pm. Town N Country, 1502 W. Ben White, 445-9122. $8 for full meal.
HOOK'D YellaStud and pals present Dee Jay Munk-in-the-Mix spinning this urban LGBT night in the Highland/Lincoln area. Thursdays, 10pm. Club Ambitious, 6700 Middle Fiskville, 832/878-4527. Free before 11pm, $10 after 11pm. www.soe-ent.com.
APPLICATIONS OPEN FOR QLI 2012 Apply now for one of 40 positions in the upcoming five-week Queer Leadership Initiative. Fri., Oct. 19. 40 seats; first come, first served basis. www.qli.qpocatexas.com.
FRIDAY NIGHT BEARS A-tisket, a-tasket, check out that bear basket. Fridays, 9pm-2am. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free. www.theironbear.com.
BEARRACUDA AUSTIN They promise: "beards, bears, cubs, pups, chubs, beefcakes, furballs, and other wildlife," spun by SF DJ Matt Consola and special guest, Matt Alber. Sat., Oct. 20. ND at 501 Studios, 501 N. I-35, 485-3001. $10. www.bearracuda.com, www.mattalber.com.
THE THONG JOG Pick up your packet at Lipstick at 9am. BWAH HA HA HA! Seriously, this Leslie-inspired run is to help the homeless. Thong th-thong thong thonnng... Sat., Oct. 20, 10am. Lipstick24, 606 E. Seventh, 474-2950. $40. www.austinthongjog.com.
LEZZDANCE Not sure what the $5 covers, but there are most assuredly women... Third Saturdays of the month, 6-8pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh, 482-9002. $5.
GLITZ! Out Youth presents this glitzy glam fundraiser in a private posh palace. Sat., Oct. 20, 8-11pm. Private residence. Contact OY for details. $45-150. www.outyouth.org.
ALLGO CABARET AUDITIONS Come to this cabaret tryout with a three- to five-minute act and get footloose in the footlights. The cabaret is a ways away, so you have plenty of time to work on your Liza (or non-Liza). Sat., Oct. 20, 8:30pm. Victory Grill, 1104 E. 11th, 291-6211. email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org.
LADY! La Glitoris and the appropriately glittified BB shall team up for a special night with rapper Lady: Queen of Twerk. Sat., Oct. 20, 9pm-2am. Beauty Ballroom, 2015 Riverside, 391-1943. $10-12. thebeautyballroom.ticketfly.com/event/168753.
TOTALLY BITCHIN' '80S PARTY DJ Nini spins hits like "We've got the Bear," "Livin' on a Bear," "Hungry Like a Bear," "Don't Stop Bearlievin'," "Pour Some Honey on Me," and "When Doves Growl." Sat., Oct. 20, 9pm-2am. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. www.theironbear.com.
AIDS WALK AUSTIN Our march for love hits a 25-year stride this year. Hoof it down to City Hall and stride with pride around town and back again. Sun., Oct. 21, Opening Ceremonies, 1:30pm; Step-off, 2pm. Austin City Hall, 301 W. Second, 406-6157. Free. www.asaustin.org.
FREE LEGAL WILLS FOR LGBTQ Local legal eagles offer pro bono legal advice about wills to income-qualifying queers. Sun., Oct. 21. Waterloo Counseling Center, 314 E. Highland Mall Blvd. #301, 401/345-1330. Free. www.bit.ly/OUTLawClinic.
LGBTQ SELF DEFENSE SERIES Pop 'em where they squat. Sun., Oct. 21. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh, 416-9735. $15. www.sundragon.org/self-defense-at-sun-dragon.
VEGAN BAKESALE An all-star vegan lineup of baked goodness featuring Capital City, Sugar Tooth, Mr. Natural, and so many more. They raise and you spend dough for the good cause of SARA Animal Sanctuary. Sun., Oct. 21, 2-5pm. Counter Culture, 2337 E. Cesar Chavez, 524-1540. www.countercultureaustin.com.
SUPER SUNDAYS DIVA SHOW Join divas Kelly Kline and Jenny McCall for a night of divinity. Sundays, 10:30pm. Oilcan Harry's, 211 W. Fourth, 320-8823. Free. www.oilcanharrys.com.
PROPOSE A TOAST(MASTER) Come hone your public speaking and communication skills. Second and fourth Mondays, 6pm. Rusty's, 405 E. Seventh, 482-9002. www.aglcc.org/toastmasters.
TUEZGAYZ Still the fruit's number one place to hoof it Tuesday night. Tuesdays, 10pm. Barbarella, 615 Red River, 476-7766. www.theglitoris.tumblr.com.
BOOKWOMAN BOOK GROUP This month: State of Wonder by Ann Patchett. Fourth Tuesdays, 7pm. BookWoman, 5501 N. Lamar Ste. 105-A, 472-2785. Free. www.ebookwoman.com.
LEZRIDE! Bike with the butchie babes and betties every Tuesday. Contact for route info. Tuesdays, 7pm. Q Austin, 3408 West Ave., 845/642-7069. Free. email@example.com.
LIZZY CAROLOKE Now with a billion songs you can access on your iPhone. The most high-tech thing at Bern's this side of the right-side toilet in the bigger bathroom. Wednesdays, 8pm-12mid. Bernadette's, 2039 Airport. Free.
QUEER RIDE Search Team ProHomo on Facebook for up-to-date details on meeting spots and stops of this weekly ride. Wednesdays, 7pm. Texas State Capitol, 1100 Congress, 305-8400. Free. www.facebook.com/AustinTPH.
STEEL VAGINAS Search Facebook for "The Steel Vaginas: Discussion Group on Feminism(s)" to discover this semiweekly romp through the nuanced ebbs and flows of the F Word. Second and fourth Wednesdays of the month, 7:30pm. The Q, 3408 West Ave., 281/733-0576. firstname.lastname@example.org.
KARAOKE WITH KENNY Goes til close. Wednesdays, 9:30pm. The Iron Bear, 121 W. Eighth. Free.
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