After a Fashion

Top 10 Fashion Faux Pas

1) The empire waist (because you probably really do have something to hide)

2) Hip-huggers, when everyone else has moved on to a more modern silhouette that doesn't emphasize the whale-tail look of a thong splashing around in your panties

3) The execrably dreary trend that continues for beat-up cowboy hats. Makes you want to ask: "Dang, woman? What happened to you?"

4) Dressing like your teenage daughter: Just say no.

5) Dockers: The height of low class

6) Skinny jeans on not-so-skinny figures

7) Knee socks with platform sandals

8) Flat shoes: How do you walk in them?

9) Flip-flops. With anything.

10) Visible underwear

Top 5 Public Scandals

1) Security at the Governor's Mansion

2) Those horrid new Christmas lights on Congress

3) The Domain's tax incentive: I say give them more.

4) Las Manitas closing and the Marriott not opening

5) Me

Best Things in Austin

1) KLRU, the Downtown Austin Alliance, and Action Figure's Downtown TV show

2) First Night Austin

3) The bead stores in Austin: As much as I make fun of them, we have some fabulous ones

4) Christmas windows at Blackmail

5) Tie: The new Hotel Saint Cecilia (the Chateau Marmont of Austin) and Kimber Modern

Top 10 Most Stylishly Dressed Women in Austin

(According to me)

1) Becky Beaver

2) Carla McDonald

3) Karen Landa

4) Ava Late

5) Gail Chovan

6) Nina Seely

7) Jane Sibley

8) Julie Thornton

9) Anne Harris

10) Kate X Messer

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My Top 10 Outfits

Top 5 Hideous Outfits I Wore This Year

1) Mother Ginger's costume for Ballet Austin's The Nutcracker

2) The bloody T-shirt and pajama pants I wore to the hospital last summer

3) My Halloween outfit: I looked more like a plus-sized Mata Hari than Martha Graham

4) The L Style G Style magazine photo of me that made me look like Peggy Lee

5) The wretchedly ugly hospital gown I wore when diagnosed with cancer

Top 5 Fabulous Outfits I Wore This Year

1) The black-and-white John Galliano newsprint pants with a black cashmere turtleneck and a red cashmere blazer – Halston Deluxe, with a twist

2) The white Marc Ecko suit I wore with all black accessories to the Houston Grand Opera Ball

3) The blue silk robe coat (my own design) and orchids that I wore to the Long Center opening

4) Mother Ginger: sunglasses, fan, black cowboys boots, black leather jeans, Versace shirt, and full-length sheared beaver. I said sheared, dammit, not shaved. (Since I couldn't be sure they'd really know it's me, I made sure I decked myself out in my signature jewels, sunglasses, and fans.)

5) Shannon Moody of the Austin Film Society had the unmitigated gall to dress as me in real jewels and furs on Halloween. She, however, had a certain allure that I could never dream of possessing. And so I've retired (in your better dreams, and yes, chickadees, Shannon and I are cooking up some greatness for Texas Film Hall of Fame in March – hold on to your hats!).