After a Fashion

The laconic Lady Bunny, of Wigstock fame, smolders under 87 pounds of hair during her performance at Oilcan Harry's.

GREASE IS THE WORD You'd have to live on Mars not to have heard about Britney Spears' disturbing meltdown during an OK! magazine photo shoot back in July, in which the embattled pop-tard allegedly destroyed or stole thousands of dollars in designer clothes and accessories. According to the magazine, the human train wreck appeared increasingly disoriented and refused the assistance of professional hair and make-up services, preferring to use the same people who make her so "attractive" now; wiped chicken grease on one gown; allowed her dog-of-the-moment to defecate on another gown; and packed up approximately $16,000 in borrowed goods and left the photo shoot early, forfeiting her $1 million paycheck. OK! wasted no time in smearing the deliciously tawdry tale all over the media and, in a stunning coup de grace, offered one of the damaged gowns, a white Versace, for auction on eBay, replete with mustardlike stains, listed as Versace Gown From OK!/Britney Spears 'Meltdown' Shoot. The starting bid? A cool $1,500. The first bidder? Our illustrious sister, Margaret Moser. Not that Margaret wanted to own the gown, but she knew she'd be outbid and wanted to get the fun rolling. One can imagine her distress a day later upon receiving an e-mail from eBay stating, "Unfortunately, eBay has removed this auction-style listing. All bids or offers on this listing have been canceled. Because the listing was ended, you no longer have any obligation to purchase this item. If the seller chooses to relist the item, you're welcome to bid on it again. Listings are removed for different reasons. For example: The way the item was listed may violate eBay policy. The removal may be part of a separate action taken by eBay that is unrelated to the listing itself. We hope you understand that, due to privacy concerns, we're unable to discuss the details of why this listing was ended. However, please note that the removal of this listing should not suggest that this seller's standing in the eBay Community has been called into question." Well, the removal of the listing suggests something. Apparently, the dress has been reposted on eBay (Item 270161723436) with no photographs and a cryptic message asking original bidders to honor their original bids. But the word "meltdown" is no longer in the listing. Besides, why settle for a soiled gown when you can buy Item 7586789811 – an autographed copy of Britney's first-grade yearbook for a paltry $19,999.99?

"Barney Rubble" and "Wilma Flintstone," part of Team Stoneage, with their flying machine at Red Bull's Flugtag event at Auditorium Shores

ANNIVER-SOIREE Last week was the eighth birthday for "After a Fashion"; we celebrated quietly by wearing false eyelashes and watching Mahogany. But, really, a more festive event is in order, so Your Style Avatar invites each and every one of you for cocktails. Decide among yourselves where you'd like to go and what you're proposing to wear, and when you reach a consensus, get back to us.