After a Fashion
Are you languishing in one of 'The Stages of Self-Acceptance for Gay Men'? Let Uncle Stephen guide you through.
By Stephen MacMillan Moser, Fri., June 10, 2005
WORDS OF THE WEEK: "Plastic surgery is 21st-century haute couture." – Karl Lagerfeld.
WESTWARD HO: It's just not summer until Project Transitions has its annual Texas Swing fundraiser – and what a sizzler it was (it was so hot I found myself thanking the spirits above that I've chosen a Mia Farrow circa 1968 haircut, or I would have looked like I'd been "rode hard and put up wet"). But, heat be damned, Scholz Garten was packed! The seductive scent of barbecue permeated the night, while the music of the legendary Alvin Crow set the pace. There were such a huge amount of auction items on display, I hardly knew where to start. Fortunately, Mark Steiger, a handsome and charming PT volunteer, plucked me out of the crowd, delivered a drink, and got me situated for the evening. From there, I held court. I visited with Carol Adams, Michelle Scherz, and Jim Reynolds – all from Zach Scott. David Schneider along with his wife, Holly, promised we'd be seeing the latest edition of his eagerly awaited Style Cup in the fall. Shout Magazine's Rob Faubion was there, as were my editor Kate Messer and her lovely date, photographer Roxanne Jo Mitchell. Leaving with my old friend Dale, we stopped to chat out front. A woman who obviously knew me came along and joined us. She was very nice, and I vaguely recognized her, but couldn't put my finger on who she was. As we chatted, Dale mentioned that we had known each other 28 years. The woman said, "I've known Stephen longer than that – 30 years …" My eyes grew big as saucers as I realized I was talking to Marcilea Fletcher. Marcilea Fletcher is a big part of my history. In the mid-Seventies she owned a club on Sixth Street called Friends & Lovers, where the Hard Rock Cafe is now. We also knew each other from the Pearl Street Warehouse. But Friends & Lovers ruled the scene at the time, drawing the glitterati from all over Austin into one happenin', hedonistic hot spot. I practically lived there. Honestly, in my book, Marcilea Fletcher should get a plaque for her contribution to Austin's legendary nightlife. Though I've seen Marcilea within the last couple of years, the difference in her was astounding. Looking happier and healthier than I'd ever seen her, she is currently representing the dreamy singer-songwriter Michael Clay, who also performed at Texas Swing.
UPSTAGE: I have been fascinated by the dialogue among gay folks regarding the diversity of the gay "community," particularly the issue of "butch" vs. "fem" guys, and I came across something online that I thought was particularly apropos during Gay Pride. Posted anonymously, it is called The Stages of Self-Acceptance for Gay Men, and I have paraphrased it for clarity:
Stage 1, Denial: I'm not gay, it's just a phase.
Stage 2, Fashionably Bisexual: I'm a regular straight dude who happens to enjoy sex with other dudes (this stage uses the word "dudes" a lot).
Stage 3, Gay: But I'm not like those fags; I'm a real man who happens to be gay, and I deeply resent all those other queens who give us a bad name. (Most Stage 3 men believe that they are the first "straight-acting" gay men in history and congratulate themselves for inventing the concept.)
Stage 4, Totally Gay: I am what I am, and we are what we are, no better and no worse than anyone else.
Needless to say, there is no scientific data to support any of this, but it has sparked lively and heated debate on the message boards. My favorite response, again posted anonymously, said, "My revelation on the Stage 3 business came from a smart, mean little snap queen about a dozen years ago. He said, 'Oh, you're just so butch, aren't you. Ssssso butch. Well did you ever think about this? You only seem butch compared to me. If people can't see what a fag you are, it's because they're busy looking at me. If I weren't around, you wouldn't look so butch. So when the day comes and they kill all the faggots, all it means is that they'll kill me first. And as soon as faggots like me are gone, you're just gonna look like the biggest queen in town. And you'll die next.'"
TONIGHT! TONIGHT!: Thursday, June 9, jewelry designer Kevin Heady (www.kevinheady.com) is having a trunk show at 1010 W. 22nd, 5-8pm, with 20% of the proceeds benefiting Zachary Scott Theatre. Call 469-9517 for more info… The Style Collective, a design group comprised of handbag designer Anne Marie Beard (www.annemariepurses.com), jewelry designer Natalie Tischler (www.ornamentalthings.com), and a note-card designer Melissa Gable (www.onecreativegirl.com) presents its Summer Trunk Show, 6-9pm, at 501 Gate Tree Ln. Visit www.stylecollectiveaustin.com for more details… Sunday, June 12, 8:30pm at Dick's Silver Spur (113 San Jacinto) is the special Gay Pride edition of La Cage: Vegas in Austin, a benefit for the Lesbian Gay Rights Lobby show. With a live band, dancers, and singers, and a truly Las Vegas-style staging, La Cage features a different lineup monthly. For more information and table reservations, contact the club at 457-8010 or visit online at www.thesilverspursaloon.com.
