Coach's Corner

Sports Illustrated thinks, judging from this week's cover, that this division is the hot, new home of the quarterback. Maybe my eyes are going bad, too, but I see one possibly great one, for all intents and purposes, two rookies, one journeyman, and a maybe good one.

1) Jacksonville: Two good things -- Brunell will be back in October, and they play interconference games with the NFC East.

2) Pittsburgh: With a third-year rookie QB (formally known as Slash) horribly undressed by Dallas, what do ya wanna bet Tomczak will be starting by November?

3) Baltimore: Don't blame Vinnie. The defense couldn't keep your mom, with me lead blocking, out of the end zone.

4) Cincinnati: People keep saying the Bengals are good. I'll believe it when I see it.

5) Tennessee: Steve (Air) McNair, I don't care what you say, is a rookie, a big question mark. I don't know if he's good, neither do you, and neither does McNair.

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AFC West

Heartbreak in Broncoland... The annual return to the vertical passing game in Oakland... Treading water in KC... Nice beaches in San Diego and wait -- again -- 'til next year in Seattle.

1) Oakland: I want George to succeed, so I can watch every media/coach type in the nation eat shit. An easy schedule helps.

2) Denver: Last year's bitter, bitter disappointment must linger in a bad place, not too far beneath the surface.

3) Chiefs: They keep changing quarterbacks, like that's the problem. Slowly, like watching a leaf change color, sliding backward into the sea of mediocrity.

4) Seattle: Remember Jim Zorn? It's been that long that experts have been telling us about next year. Like Cincinnati, I'll believe it when I see it.

5) San Diego: It seems like every five years, the Chargers come out of nowhere -- and this season works as nowhere -- to show up in the Super Bowl.

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AFC East

And last, the Mensa Division, possibly the only place in professional sports where two coaches get more ink than 120 football players combined.

1) Patriots: Life after the Big Tuna, and with this offense (as long as they stay in the AFC), it's a great life after all.

2) Miami: Genius #1 has a tougher schedule than it appears. The bigger question: Will a late December game in Foxboro mess up his hair or will the snow just kinda sit there, like on the fur of a cat?

3) Buffalo: Kellykellykelly, that's all you hear. Kelly hasn't been Kelly in two years, so what's the big deal? There's still lots of talent left.

4) New York: Big Bill puts himself in a sweet win-win situation. Jets had to be the best 1-15 team ever. Parcells (genius #2) will milk every win for all it's worth.

5) Indianapolis: I can't pretend I didn't see week one. What has one leg, a bloody nose, two chipped teeth, a broken rib, a shattered retina, and a bad headache? Poor Jim Harbaugh, body parts flying all akimbo, still running for his life. Is it that hard to find a few guys who can block, or do the Colt linemen just not like Christian quarterbacks?