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Smurfs: The Lost Village

Smurfs: The Lost Village

Directed by Kelly Asbury. Voices by Demi Lovato, Ariel Winter, Joe Manganiello, Michelle Rodriguez, Julia Roberts, Mandy Patinkin, Rainn Wilson, Jack McBrayer, Danny Pudi. (2017, PG, 89 min.)

REVIEWED By Marc Savlov, Fri., April 7, 2017

A strictly-for-the-kiddies animated reboot of the seemingly ancient Smurf brand, The Lost Village is so tame it hardly merits a PG rating. Whereas most movies aimed at this particular demographic tend to throw mom and dad a bone in the form of a topical gag or a sly pop-culture joke, this is pure pre-teen schlock minus the wacky intellectual heft of, say, SpongeBob SquarePants or the sheer preschool weirdness of The Teletubbies (remember them?). It’s also hamstrung by a confusing moral center which finds Smurfette (Lovato), the Smurfiverse’s token female, setting out on a perilous quest to discover her purpose in life. As everyone under the age of 10 already knows, Smurfette isn’t a Smurf at all. She’s a golem created out of clay by the evil wizard Gargamel (Wilson) to subvert and destroy Papa Smurf’s patriarchal, mushroom-based society. With the passing of time and merchandise, however, the blue bombshell left her original sin origin story and sashayed into the hearts and minds of the all-male Smurf coterie.

All’s well that ends well, but not really, because now the purposeless protagonist has to track down a mysterious being she briefly glimpsed in the Forbidden Forest. Determinedly setting out on her own – except for the four clownish man-Smurfs who tag along to make sure nothing bad happens to their blond goddess – she evades Gargamel’s clutches and ventures off into unknown territory with predictable results. This is sham feminism in the first degree no matter how colorful the animator’s palette or how cool fire-breathing dragonflies are in 3-D.

Strangely, the script for The Lost Village was penned by a pair of women – Stacey Harman and Pamela Ribon – the latter of whom co-wrote Moana, the best girl power identity quest in recent memory. The fact is, for those of us over 10 years old, Smurfs, like Peeps, are best viewed revolving in molten agony inside your microwave, and when it comes to finding your special purpose in life, nothing will ever top Steve Martin’s Navin R. Johnson in The Jerk.

Barton Creek Square (AMC)

2901 South Capital of Texas Hwy  512/306-1991

www.amctheatres.com

Matinee discounts available before 4pm daily. Bring Your Baby matinees the first Tuesday of every month.

SAT APR 29

CC/DVS: 10:40am, 1:00, 3:30, 5:50

SUN APR 30

CC/DVS: 10:40am, 1:00, 3:30, 5:50

MON MAY 01

CC/DVS: 1:00, 3:30, 5:50

TUE MAY 02

CC/DVS: 1:00, 3:30, 5:50

WED MAY 03

CC/DVS: 1:00, 3:30, 5:50

Cinemark Hill Country Galleria 14

12812 Hill Country Blvd., Bee Cave  800/326-3264

www.cinemark.com/theater_showtimes.asp?theater_id=377

SAT APR 29

digital: 11:15am, 1:45, 4:15, 6:50

SUN APR 30

digital: 11:45am, 5:50, 8:20

MON MAY 01

digital: 11:15am, 1:45, 4:15, 6:50

TUE MAY 02

digital: 11:15am, 1:45, 4:15, 6:50

WED MAY 03

digital: 11:15am, 1:45, 4:15, 6:50

Cinemark Round Rock

4401 N. I-35, Round Rock  800/326-3264

Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium. Call theatre for complete March 26-28 showtimes.

SAT APR 29

digital: 11:35am, 1:55, 4:20, 6:50, 9:30

SUN APR 30

digital: 11:35am, 1:55, 4:20, 6:50, 9:30

MON MAY 01

digital: 11:35am, 1:55, 4:20, 6:50, 9:30

TUE MAY 02

digital: 11:35am, 1:55, 4:20, 6:50, 9:30

WED MAY 03

digital: 11:35am, 1:55, 4:20, 6:50, 9:30

THU MAY 04

digital: 11:35am, 1:55, 4:20, 6:50, 9:30

EVO Entertainment

3200 Kyle Crossing, Kyle  512/523-9009

www.evo-entertainment.com

SAT APR 29

11:05am, 1:20, 3:55, 6:15

SUN APR 30

11:05am, 1:20, 3:55, 6:15

MON MAY 01

11:05am, 1:20, 3:55, 6:15

TUE MAY 02

11:05am, 1:20, 3:55

WED MAY 03

11:05am, 1:20, 3:55

Flix Brewhouse

2200 S. I-35, Round Rock  512/244-3549

www.flixbrewhouse.com/round-rock

SAT APR 29

Reserved Seating: 11:00am, 1:30, 4:00

SUN APR 30

Reserved Seating: 11:00am, 1:30, 4:00

MON MAY 01

Reserved Seating: 11:00am, 1:30, 4:00

TUE MAY 02

Reserved Seating: 11:00am, 1:30, 4:00

WED MAY 03

Reserved Seating: 11:00am, 1:30, 4:00

THU MAY 04

Reserved Seating: 11:00am, 1:30, 4:00

Galaxy Highland 10

6700 Middle Fiskville  512/467-7305

www.galaxytheatres.com

No one under 18 will be allowed in the theatre on Friday or Saturday after 7pm without an adult.

SAT APR 29

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:15, 2:15, 4:30

SUN APR 30

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:15, 2:15, 4:30

MON MAY 01

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:15, 2:15, 4:30

TUE MAY 02

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:15, 2:15, 4:30

WED MAY 03

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:15, 2:15, 4:30

THU MAY 04

ClosedCap;DescListen;HI: 12:15, 2:15, 4:30

Hometown Cinemas

120 MLK Jr. Industrial Blvd. W, Lockhart  512/398-4100

www.hometowncinemas.com

SAT APR 29

12:00, 2:35, 4:50

SUN APR 30

12:00, 2:35, 4:50

MON MAY 01

12:00, 2:35, 4:50

TUE MAY 02

12:00, 2:35, 4:50

WED MAY 03

12:00, 2:35, 4:50

THU MAY 04

12:00, 2:35, 4:50

Schulman Theatres Lost Pines 8

1600 Chestnut St, Bastrop  512/321-0123

www.schulmantheatres.com

SAT APR 29

10:05am, 1:00, 3:30

SUN APR 30

10:05am, 1:00, 3:30

MON MAY 01

10:05am, 1:00, 3:30

TUE MAY 02

10:05am, 1:00, 3:30

WED MAY 03

10:05am, 1:00, 3:30

THU MAY 04

10:05am, 1:00, 3:30, 6:00

Metropolitan

901 Little Texas  512/447-0101

Discounts daily before 6pm. Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium.

SAT APR 29

3-D, CC/DVS: 2:30, 9:50
CC/DVS: 12:10, 4:50, 7:20

SUN APR 30

3-D, CC/DVS: 2:30, 9:50
CC/DVS: 12:10, 4:50, 7:20

MON MAY 01

3-D, CC/DVS: 2:30, 9:50
CC/DVS: 12:10, 4:50, 7:20

TUE MAY 02

3-D, CC/DVS: 2:30, 9:50
CC/DVS: 12:10, 4:50, 7:20

WED MAY 03

3-D, CC/DVS: 2:30, 9:50
CC/DVS: 12:10, 4:50, 7:20

THU MAY 04

3-D, CC/DVS: 2:30, 9:50
CC/DVS: 12:10, 4:50, 7:20

Moviehouse & Eatery

8300 N. FM 620, Bldg. B  512/501-3520

www.themoviehouse.com/austin/

SAT APR 29

10:15am, 1:15

SUN APR 30

10:15am, 1:15

MON MAY 01

10:45am, 1:30

TUE MAY 02

10:45am, 1:30

WED MAY 03

10:45am, 1:30

THU MAY 04

10:45am, 1:30

Tinseltown North

N. I-35 & FM 1825, Pflugerville  512/989-8535

Cost for 3-D and XD shows is regular ticket price plus a premium.

SAT APR 29

digital: 10:55am, 6:30

SUN APR 30

digital: 10:55am, 6:30

MON MAY 01

digital: 1:30, 4:00, 6:30

TUE MAY 02

digital: 1:30, 4:00

WED MAY 03

digital: 1:30
READ MORE
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KEYWORDS FOR THIS FILM

Smurfs: The Lost Village, Kelly Asbury

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