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Fifty Shades Darker

Fifty Shades Darker

Directed by James Foley. Starring Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eric Johnson, Eloise Mumford, Bella Heathcote. (2017, R, 115 min.)

REVIEWED By Josh Kupecki, Fri., Feb. 17, 2017

There’s something liberating about reviewing a film that is bulletproof. This franchise of novels that has struck a chord with the populace, and a thankfully waning punch line for late-night talk show hosts riffing on jokes about your mom reading bondage porn, is doing just fine, thank you very much. I don’t have to actually write about the film, as anyone who wants to see it has already bought tickets. Case closed. So who’s left? My five faithful readers? (I love you, mom!) Rubberneckers looking for a cheap thrill? (Nothing to see here.) Whoever you are, you are in for a disappointment, as this second installment of the trilogy is an epic snooze. Apart from a few moments of fleeting suspense, Fifty Shades Darker resembles a Facebook feed of someone you kind of knew in high school who maybe went on to have a glamorous future, but everything seems a little bit off and contrived. And the film’s lack of any dramatic meat becomes slightly unnerving as you realize that the style is the substance (fool me once, I guess), and there is no beef(cake), only filler.

Oh, but gosh, Anastasia Steele has a great life, working for a thriving independent book publisher in Seattle (a job that shouldn’t exist). Her billionaire ex, Christian Grey succeeds in seducing Ana once again, because despite his traumatizing childhood (shown briefly in a prologue that deftly combines every conceivable stereotype of child abuse in two minutes), he wants to love her, and she wants to love him. But the deal here is, she also needs to heal him, and while I see that resolution coming down the pike, this second film really has nothing to do except spin its gears, and wait for the conclusion. There are lavish masquerade balls and Ben Wa balls (trending?), but nothing happens in this film that isn’t solved literally five minutes later. Christian can’t communicate? Ana asks him a question and they’ve resolved it. An ex of Christian's appears with a gun? Let’s put her in a psych ward. Helicopter crash, you say? Don’t even worry about it. And that’s the problem: Nothing ever feels alive in this film. It’s a couple of automatons acting out a play that was based on other plays, that was based on other plays, and so on and so forth. A scene late in the film has Christian admitting to Ana that he’s a sadist (he is most definitely not), but by that point I definitely knew that I was the masochist.

Alamo Drafthouse Lakeline

14028 U.S. Hwy. 183 N.  512/861-7070

https://drafthouse.com/austin/theater/lakeline

MON FEB 27

1:05, 4:25

TUE FEB 28

4:45
AFA: 1:40

WED MAR 01

1:40, 4:45

Alamo Drafthouse Slaughter Lane

5701 W. Slaughter  512/861-7060

drafthouse.com/austin/theater/slaughter-lane

Showtimes at this venue are subject to frequent change. Please confirm daily times by phone or website.

MON FEB 27

1:00

TUE FEB 28

AFA: 10:00am, 1:00

WED MAR 01

1:00

Alamo Drafthouse South Lamar

1120 S. Lamar  512/861-7040

drafthouse.com/theater/south-lamar

MON FEB 27

12:35, 3:35

TUE FEB 28

4:10
AFA: 1:10

WED MAR 01

1:15, 4:15

Alamo Drafthouse Village

2700 W. Anderson  512/861-7030

drafthouse.com/austin/theater/village

Tuesday matinee Baby Day shows (first show of the day) are intended for parents and their children younger than 6. Showtimes at this venue are subject to frequent change. Please confirm daily times by phone or website.

MON FEB 27

12:25, 3:30, 6:35, 9:35

TUE FEB 28

3:35, 6:40, 9:40
AFA: 12:25

WED MAR 01

12:30, 3:40, 6:45, 9:45

THU MAR 02

12:20, 3:30, 6:05

Barton Creek Square (AMC)

2901 South Capital of Texas Hwy  512/306-1991

www.amctheatres.com

Matinee discounts available before 4pm daily. Bring Your Baby matinees the first Tuesday of every month.

MON FEB 27

CC/DVS: 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30

TUE FEB 28

CC/DVS: 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30

WED MAR 01

CC/DVS: 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30

Cinemark Cedar Park

1335 E. Whitestone, Cedar Park  800/326-3264

Call theatre for complete list of movies and showtimes.

MON FEB 27

digital: 12:50, 3:50, 7:00, 10:00

TUE FEB 28

digital: 12:50, 3:50, 7:00, 10:00

WED MAR 01

digital: 12:50, 3:50, 7:00, 10:00

THU MAR 02

digital: 12:50, 3:50

Cinemark Hill Country Galleria 14

12812 Hill Country Blvd., Bee Cave  800/326-3264

www.cinemark.com/theater_showtimes.asp?theater_id=377

MON FEB 27

digital: 10:20am, 1:20, 4:25, 7:30, 10:30

TUE FEB 28

digital: 10:20am, 1:20, 4:25, 7:30, 10:30

WED MAR 01

digital: 10:20am, 1:20, 4:25, 7:30, 10:30

Cinemark Round Rock

4401 N. I-35, Round Rock  800/326-3264

Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium. Call theatre for complete March 26-28 showtimes.

MON FEB 27

digital: 1:10, 4:00, 7:20, 10:20

TUE FEB 28

digital: 1:10, 4:00, 7:20, 10:20

WED MAR 01

digital: 1:10, 4:00, 7:20, 10:20

Cinemark Southpark Meadows

9900 S. I-35  800/326-3264

Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium.

MON FEB 27

digital: 10:00am, 12:50, 3:45, 6:50, 9:45

TUE FEB 28

digital: 10:00am, 12:50, 3:45, 6:50, 9:45

WED MAR 01

digital: 10:00am, 12:50, 3:45, 6:50, 9:45

Cinemark Stone Hill Town Center

18820 Hilltop Commercial Dr., Pflugerville  512/251-0938

www.cinemark.com

MON FEB 27

digital: 12:30, 3:20, 6:30, 9:40

City Lights Theatre

420 Wolf Ranch Parkway, Georgetown  512/868-9922

MON FEB 27

1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00

TUE FEB 28

1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00

WED MAR 01

1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00

THU MAR 02

1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00

EVO Entertainment

3200 Kyle Crossing, Kyle  512/523-9009

www.evo-entertainment.com

MON FEB 27

12:45, 4:00, 7:25, 10:40

TUE FEB 28

12:45, 4:00, 7:25, 10:40

WED MAR 01

12:45, 4:00, 7:25, 10:40

Flix Brewhouse

2200 S. I-35, Round Rock  512/244-3549

www.flixbrewhouse.com/round-rock

MON FEB 27

Reserved Seating: 11:30am, 2:45, 7:00, 9:15, 10:15

TUE FEB 28

Reserved Seating: 11:45am, 3:00, 8:00, 9:30, 10:30

WED MAR 01

Reserved Seating: 11:30am, 2:45, 7:00, 9:15, 10:15

THU MAR 02

Reserved Seating: 10:30am, 12:00, 1:30, 3:00, 6:00, 9:30

Gateway Theatre

9700 Stonelake  512/416-5700

Discounts daily before 6pm. Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium.

MON FEB 27

CC/DVS: 12:10, 3:10, 7:40, 10:30

TUE FEB 28

CC/DVS: 12:10, 3:10, 7:40, 10:30

WED MAR 01

CC/DVS: 12:10, 3:10, 7:40, 10:30

THU MAR 02

CC/DVS: 12:10, 3:10

Hometown Cinemas

120 MLK Jr. Industrial Blvd. W, Lockhart  512/398-4100

www.hometowncinemas.com

MON FEB 27

11:20am, 1:55, 4:30, 7:10

TUE FEB 28

11:20am, 1:55, 4:30, 7:10

WED MAR 01

11:20am, 1:55, 4:30, 7:10

THU MAR 02

11:20am, 1:55, 4:30, 7:10

iPic Theaters Austin

3225 Amy Donovan Plaza  512/568-3400

www.ipic.com

MON FEB 27

12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30

TUE FEB 28

12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30

WED MAR 01

12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30

Schulman Theatres Lost Pines 8

1600 Chestnut St, Bastrop  512/321-0123

www.schulmantheatres.com

MON FEB 27

10:00am, 1:00, 4:00, 7:15, 10:15

TUE FEB 28

10:00am, 1:00, 4:00, 7:15, 10:15

WED MAR 01

10:00am, 1:00, 4:00, 7:15, 10:15

THU MAR 02

10:00am, 1:00, 4:00, 7:15, 10:15

Metropolitan

901 Little Texas  512/447-0101

Discounts daily before 6pm. Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium.

MON FEB 27

CC/DVS: 1:20, 4:20, 7:10, 10:10

TUE FEB 28

CC/DVS: 1:20, 4:20, 7:10, 10:10

WED MAR 01

CC/DVS: 1:20, 4:20, 7:10, 10:10

THU MAR 02

CC/DVS: 1:20, 4:20, 7:10, 10:10

Moviehouse & Eatery

8300 N. FM 620, Bldg. B  512/501-3520

www.themoviehouse.com/austin/

MON FEB 27

11:30am, 2:45, 6:30, 9:45

TUE FEB 28

11:30am, 2:45, 6:30, 9:45

WED MAR 01

11:30am, 2:45, 6:30, 9:45

THU MAR 02

11:30am, 2:45, 6:30, 8:00, 9:45

ShowBiz Cinemas 8 Marble Falls

2600 Hwy 281 North, Marble Falls

Call theatre for August 22-23 showtimes.

MON FEB 27

2:30, 5:05, 7:50

TUE FEB 28

2:30, 5:05, 7:50

WED MAR 01

2:30, 5:05, 7:50

THU MAR 02

2:30, 5:05, 7:50

The Spot Cinema Eatery & Social Haus

1180 Thorpe Lane #130, San Marcos  512/210-8600

https://www.evo-entertainment.com/locations/the-spot/

MON FEB 27

3:50, 7:10, 10:30

TUE FEB 28

3:50, 7:10, 10:30

WED MAR 01

3:50, 7:10, 10:30

Starplex 12 San Marcos

1250 Wonder World Drive, San Marcos  512/805-8000

MON FEB 27

12:45, 4:00, 7:25, 10:40

TUE FEB 28

12:45, 4:00, 7:25, 10:40

WED MAR 01

12:45, 4:00, 7:25, 10:40

Tinseltown North

N. I-35 & FM 1825, Pflugerville  512/989-8535

Cost for 3-D and XD shows is regular ticket price plus a premium.

MON FEB 27

digital: 1:05, 4:10, 7:15, 10:20

TUE FEB 28

digital: 1:05, 4:10, 7:15, 10:20

WED MAR 01

digital: 1:05, 4:10, 7:15, 10:20

Westgate 11

4477 S. Lamar Blvd  512/899-2717

Discounts daily before 6pm. Cost for 3-D shows is regular ticket price plus a $3.50 premium.

MON FEB 27

CC/DVS: 11:00am, 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 10:00

TUE FEB 28

CC/DVS: 11:00am, 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 10:00

WED MAR 01

CC/DVS: 11:00am, 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 10:00

THU MAR 02

CC/DVS: 10:00am, 12:40, 3:20, 6:45, 9:30
READ MORE
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KEYWORDS FOR THIS FILM

Fifty Shades Darker, James Foley, Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eric Johnson, Eloise Mumford, Bella Heathcote

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