There is no justice in this world. Robin Givens has appeared in two movies this summer in Austin. One was the well made and adorable Foreign Student
which stuck around for exactly one week. The other is the schlocky and horrible Blankman
which will probably be around for a while. Sitting through Blankman
in its entirety, I finally understood “the horror” Kurtz felt slowly going insane in The Heart Of Darkness.
His final, pained notebook scrawling of “exterminate all the brutes” is entirely fitting here. Every one of the sick and twisted little weasels involved in Blankman
should be hung by their thumbs while the blood is slowly drained out of their bodies through small holes punched through their feet. Blankman's
humor (for example, stinkbombs made from concentrated flatulence) makes much of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
seem high-brow. Wayans does nothing apart from a watered-down version of his Retarded Man schtick while Grier seems to feel that characterization should best be left primarily to hand gestures. Any real connection to either his character or the audience is unnecessary. I have no idea what Jason Alexander is doing in this film. He has one good line when coffee is poured in his lap and that's it. Actually, everything funny in this movie comprises half the material used in the previews and the first five minutes of the film, which ironically contains none of the stars. This is the true problem with Blankman,
it starts well and goes absolutely nowhere but down. Blankman's
use of the cheesy effects from the Batman
TV show, including Polito trying to imitate The Penguin, was initially a good idea but the execution is simply horrible and this is what winds up ruining the film. There is a moment early in the film where a group of cops stand around Blankman, making fun of him. One cop calls out “How about we call you Shithead Man?” That suits me just fine.