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Music
Cedric Burnside Project / Vallejo
Late blues great R.L. Burnside’s kin hosts grit-kickers Old Gray Mule, while Saturday rocks Latin locals and ATX big band compatible Hector Ward & the Big Time.
Antone's, 2015 W. Riverside
End of the World Party
Mayan calendar hoax in effect with a five-act local bill anchored by instrumental quirks Halaska (12mid) and Impossibles soloist Gabe Hascall, 9pm.
Frontier Bar, 2421 Webberville Rd.
Guy Forsyth & Carolyn Wonderland’s Holiday Roast
It’s become a South Austin tradition. Two of the 04’s favorite rock and blues musicians, Guy Forsyth and Carolyn Wonderland, round up a band of merry pranksters for unique interpretations of old chestnuts. Inventing a couple of new, irreverent pastimes along the way, the locals’ Christmas disc, Fireside Songs for the Soul, indicates a broad taste in holiday music – John Lennon, John Prine, and Charles Brown – so expect similar nontraditional fare and a warm spiritual buzz afterward. – Jim Caligiuri
Long Center for the Performing Arts, 701 W. Riverside
Joe Ely
Between touring with and releasing long lost tapes from the Flatlanders, as well as performing never-ending solo gigs, Joe Ely spent 2012 making music filled with unforgettable images and words. Whether with an all-star band or backed solely by accordion-playing compadre Joel Guzman, Ely’s presence blasts people out of their seats, so he’s sure to make the tiny Saxon Pub stage seem even smaller. Billed as duo shows, back-to-back nights on South Lamar seem likely to
have special guests as well. 9pm both nights. – Jim Caligiuri
Saxon Pub, 1320 S. Lamar
Uranium Savages
They’ve long called themselves “the band too dumb to die,” but make no mistake, the Uranium Savages’ parody-style musical humor remains Austin-centric after all these years. In a Christmas blowout called the End of the World Partay, bandleader Kerry Awn warns of a “special Blue Christmas Elvis tribute.”
He chuckles. “It’s also the end of the world, so we’re having yellow cake.”
It’s worth noting that the Uranium Savages’ wicked send-ups predate “Weird Al” Yankovic by more than a decade, going back to Austin’s pot smoke and sassafras scented Seventies. The revue-style act ruled at Soap Creek during the neon nights of yore, shoulder-to-shoulder with Doug Sahm, Paul Ray & the Cobras, and Marcia Ball’s Freda & the Firedogs.
Lampooning the local culture (“Tit Bars,” “Beer Makes Me Dumb”) and icons (“Leslie,” “Party With the Pope”) alike, the Savages sometimes dip into novelty tunes and sometimes outright covers, proof that musical trends change, but humor with a tune never goes out of style.
Heading out to Poodie’s in Spicewood isn’t quite as convenient as the Continental Club, but as Awn points out, “Highway 71 west of Bee Cave just opened a brand new section, so expect a smooth drive from Austin. Also, Spicewood is an unincorporated area, so you can shoot off fireworks.”
Awn disputes the notion that the grizzled hipsters are on their last legs.
“We’ve seen a resurgence in popularity this past year thanks to the ever-present possibility that there might be a medical emergency during a performance. We’re also planning on releasing a new 8-track of music next year and putting out a line of children’s sleepwear.”
Finally, the Savages breathed a sigh of relief after this year’s Presidential election.
“We now have an eight-year stockpile of Spam and bottled water we need to get rid of,” offers Awn. – Margaret Moser
Poodie's Hilltop Roadhouse, 22308 Hwy. 71 W.
Film
Big Screen Classics: A Christmas Story
Ralphie wants nothing more for Christmas than a Red Ryder 200-shot, range-model air rifle, but he must convince Mom and Dad that, if lucky enough to receive this “Holy Grail of Christmas presents,” he won't shoot his eye out. Read a full review of A Christmas Story.
4:15PM, Alamo Drafthouse at the Ritz, 320 E. Sixth
Arts
Trapped In The Closet: Live!
If "Trapped in the Closet" is the Odyssey of our time, then R. Kelly is Homer. [Note: Not Homer Simpson, fool. We mean – oh, never mind.] Anyway, enjoy this epic work as it was meant to be heard – orally. Austin's own madcap genius Brently Heilbron performs the original twelve chapters solo, while brandishing a ukulele and other assorted instruments. $10
Salvage Vanguard Theater, 2803 Manor Rd., 474-7886
www.salvagevanguard.org
SouthPop: Live Music & Dead Clubs
The South Austin Popular Culture Center presents this "visual history through T-shirts," chronicling the rise and fall of bands and venues, charting that storied sequence across the public strata of the cotton upper-body garments once relegated to underwear but now (for decades, now) more akin to personal billboards of opinion and taste. Through Dec. 23.
South Austin Popular Culture Center, 1516-B S. Lamar, 512/440-8318
www.samopc.org
SVT Gallery: Vivid Section
Here's a retrospective of work by your Arts Listings editor, Wayne Alan Brenner, featuring pen-and-ink drawings, altered and embroidered cloth, screenprints, mixed-media works, and a new 4-by-6-foot portrait of Philip K. Dick in acrylics. Maybe check in and see what this fellow who's been writing about the scene for years can actually do, artwise, himself? Through Dec. 30.
Salvage Vanguard Theater, 2803 Manor Rd., 512/474-7886
www.salvagevanguard.org
Ink Tank: Armageddon Outta Here
The creative provocateurs of Ink Tank commandeer the Eastside venue of Co-Lab – for the benefit of us all, as a bulwark against the coming catastrophe foretold by that wacky Mayan calendar. Listen: "Any canned or non-perishable food items or supplies you bring this night be added into our community cache and will grant you entry into our safe zone, replete with hope, shelter, and a last supper." It's a pre-apocalyptic art party, is what it is, and you're invited to weather the final storm of doom among friends and strangers, everyone comforted by vodka and beer and the live soundscapes of Zac Traeger and Henna Chou.
Co-Lab, 613 Allen, 512/300-8217
www.colabspace.org
Community
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An Evening of Christmas Ghost Stories
Halloween is invading our Xmas tales, so come prepared to shriek. Two of the stories will be read by the Chronicle's own resident spooky Englishman, Richard Whittaker. 8pm. $5.Museum of the Weird, 412 E. Sixth, 476-5493
www.museumoftheweird.com
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Armadillo Christmas Bazaar
Nothing says holidays in Austin like scouring aisles and aisles of local art, crafts, and – thank God – beer. All while surrounded by tunes from one of many musical acts performing this year. Don't worry; Post Office reps will be on the premises to spare you from lugging all that holiday cheer home. Dec. 12-24, 11am-11pm. $5, weekdays till 7pm; $8, evenings and weekends.Palmer Events Center, 900 Barton Springs Rd., 447-1605
www.armadillobazaar.com
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Austin Trail of Lights
It's privately funded these days, but lights are lights, amirite? Every evening has a theme with some manner of festive entertainment. Food and drinks will be available from local trailers. Park at Austin High School for $5 and the money goes to the school's orchestra. Through Dec. 23, 6-10pm. Free.Zilker Park, 2100 Barton Springs Rd., 512/974-6700
www.austintrailoflights.org
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Blue Genie Art Bazaar
Need something Austin-y (art, jewelry, prints, clothing, etc., whatnot, and then some) for a loved one this year? More than 125 artists and artisans will help you with your gifting conundrums. Special events occur throughout the month of December, so shop early and often. Through Dec. 24, 10am-10pm, everyday. Free.The Marchesa Hall & Theatre, 6406 N I-35, 454-2000
www.bluegenieartbazaar.com
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Jigglewatts Burlesque Tease the Season
These elves have been naughty all year and now it's time to show you all they've learned. Fri., Dec. 14 & 21, 8 & 11pm. $15-25.Maggie Mae's, 323 E. Sixth, 512/478-8541
www.thejigglewattsburlesque.com
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Gingerbread Workshop
Kids and parents are invited to create their own sugary abodes made from locally baked gingerbread. Through Dec. 23: Wednesdays, 10am; Thursdays, 10am, 3:30pm; Fridays & Saturdays, 10am, 12:30, & 3:30pm; Sundays, 12:30 & 3:30pm. $35 ($30, members).Austin Children's Museum, 201 Colorado, 472-2499 x201
www.austinkids.org/Programs/Seasonal/Gingerbread-House-Workshops.aspx
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Winter Break Camp
Are the kids starving for activity in their school-deprived vacation? Let the Nature & Science Center give them a day of science learning, outdoor exploration, and playing. For kids ages 5-11. Dec. 24, 26, 27, 28, 31, Jan. 2, 3, & 4, 8am-5pm. $45 per day.Austin Nature & Science Center, 301 Nature Center Dr., 974-3888
www.austintexas.gov/ansc
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End of the World Party
Gather at Banger's to celebrate the end of the world where they'll be roasting three pigs in the ground, Mayan style. For $15, the menu includes roast pork, black beans and rice, grilled shishito peppers, grilled corn in the husk, and grilled salsa, plus Molten Mayan Chocolate Souffles from Butterface Bake Shop. Limited release kegs will be tapped starting at 5pm. Buy special edition Banger's half-liter mugs for $5 to fill with the rare craft brews you'll be trying. Live music from 5pm till 12mid, and an artist will be on hand to decorate faces with Mayan glyphs. 5pm-12mid.Banger's Sausage House & Beer Garden, 79 Rainey, 512/386-1656
www.bangersaustin.com
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The Rules of Basketball
Features an exhibition by artist Paul Pfeiffer and a display of James Naismith's 1891 document the Original Rules of Basketball. You won't want to miss this in-depth and historical look into the sport of basketball. Runs through Jan. 13, 2013.The Blanton Museum of Art, 200 E. Martin Luther King Jr., 512/471-7324
www.blantonmuseum.org
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Mayan Apocolypse
The Bumping Uglies, our darling MC Sweet Tea and Shardz ring it in or out, depending on whether or not those Mayans had their shit together. 7pm.Cherrywood Coffeehouse, 1400 E. 38 1/2, 512/538-1991
www.cherrywoodcoffeehouse.com
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