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Texas Rollergirls' Whammy Awards

by Shelley Hiam

There will be a few Texas Rollergirls nursing tender heads this morning. Last night's fifth annual Whammy Awards, like any good awards bash, was gushy, exciting, celebratory, long, and tinged with a little sadness. The ceremony had an Asian theme (including hiding the winner's names in lovingly hand-stuffed fortune cookies), and that was re-enforced by the near-total domination of Rice Rocket.

Clad in perfect O-Ren Ishii costume and surprisingly quiet in person for someone so fearless on the track, she took (deep breath) Best League Blocker and Jammer, Best Team Jammer for the Hot Rod Honeys, Best Jammer and Blocker for the Texecutioners touring team, and league MVP.

It was also a night for goodbyes, with almost one-fourth of the league, including many founders and defining stars of the track, retiring this year. But there was also a sign of the maturing of the sport: the decision to retire some numbers. Dinah-Mite's 00, Tinkerhell's 23, and Trouble's 10 have been benched forever by their respective teams. But even sadder for some, Buckshot Betsy's gold lamé bikini top, as debuted in the 2005 championships, will never be seen again on the track.

League Awards
Best Blocker: Rice Rocket
Best Pivot: Tinkerhell
Best Jammer: Rice Rocket

Team Categories

Hell Marys
Best Blocker: Derringer
Best Pivot: Sparkle Plenty
Best Jammer: Buckshot Betsy

Honky Tonk Heartbreakers
Best Blocker: Belle Starr
Best Pivot: Trouble
Best Jammer: Olivia Shootin' John

Hot Rod Honeys
Best Blocker: Lucille Brawl
Best Pivot: Cat Tastrophe
Best Jammer: Rice Rocket

Hustlers
Best Blocker: Curvette
Best Pivot: Slim Kickins
Best Jammer: Dinah-Mite

Texecutioners
Best Blocker: Rice Rocket
Best Pivot: Cat Tastrophe
Best Jammer: Rice Rocket

Other Awards
League MVP: Rice Rocket
No. 1 Texas Rollergirl Fan: The Roll Aides
Best League Spirit: Radioactive
Best Rookie: Lady X
Miss Texas Rollergirl: Lucille Brawl
Best Assets: Shank
Most True to Her Skater Name: Radioactive

Fan Votes
Favorite Texas Rollergirl: Grudge Judy
Most Ruthless on the Track: Derringer
Hottest of the Hot: Tie - Dinah-Mite and Buckshot Betsy
Best Take-Down: Slim Kickins versus Sparkle Plenty
Fave DJ: DJ El Jefe
Fave Band: Sasquatch and the Sick-a-Billys
Fave Announcer: Whiskey L'Amour

Worker Bee certificates were also awarded. All five-year veterans received a long-service award.