News Ticker: July 18
All the news that's fit to blog
By Brandon Watson, 4:45PM, Thu. Jul. 18
Dan Patrick comes to Jesus, Julián Castro starves the trolls, and Greg Abbott blows some hot air. Appearances are on the News Ticker.
• Hold on to your chinos and "going out" blue button-ups, Austin will be hosting the Texas Young Republicans Convention in August. To save you the trouble of actually attending, we've selected a photo that best represents what happens in the gathering. For full verisimilitude, use Photoshop to erase the black guy.
• Like a chastity belt or a ball gag, poorly rendered Veggie Tales character Matt Mackowiak thinks Gov. Perry's legacy is "secure."
• Hearing the story of the Central Texas woman who allegedly texted her plot to kill her husband, we can't believe how dumb some criminals are. Murder plans are made much more efficient by Snapchat.
• It may be just us, but Lite Guv candidate Sen. Dan Patrick is starting to seem more and more like a televangelist. With any luck, he'll skip the Falwell and go straight to Jan Crouch territory. But then again, that may make it difficult to tell him apart from Rep. Debbie Riddle.
• Planned Parenthood on Wednesday announced they were closing three Texas clinics. No joke here, just a slow shaking of our head.
• AMOA-Arthouse announced this morning that they are rebranding as the Contemporary Austin. Suspiciously, their first exhibit will be a minimalist installation featuring 18 artfully arranged jars. Hmm.
• Like a boss, San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro Tuesday dismissed an internet troll.
• Wearing Tevas and those weird socks people usually reserve for craft projects, hippie Atty. Gen. Greg Abbott spent some time yesterday at Lubbock's American Wind Power Center. How deep is his love for Mother Earth? Let us count the ways.
• Like a bored prom date who is sticking it out long enough for pictures, Dell shareholders are delaying telling Michael Dell what they think of him.
• With wonder, Dallas Morning News commentator Wayne Slater reports that most of Sen. Wendy Davis' campaign donors are women. Next thing he'll be telling us is that the Capitol pro-choice protestors were mostly feminists. Where does he even come up with this stuff?
• At today's HB2 signing ceremony, GOP lawmakers applauded as Gov. Rick Perry tenderly slow danced with Democratic Sen. Eddie Lucio Jr.. We're glad they at least observed the decorum of standing a ruler's length apart.
• Our condolences to Franklin Barbecue. Being featured in Parade magazine is the death knell for cultural currency. It's like being mentioned in a "Cathy" strip. AAACK!